Tuesday, November 29, 2011
Monday, November 28, 2011
Dealing with Bullies
Bullying is a big problem. It can make kids feel hurt, scared, sick, lonely, embarrassed and sad. Bullies might hit, kick, or push to hurt people, or use words to call names, threaten, tease, or scare them.
A bully might say mean things about someone, grab a kid's stuff, make fun of someone, or leave a kid out of the group on purpose.
Some bullies threaten people or try to make them do things they don't want to do.
Bullying Is a Big Deal
Bullying is a big problem that affects lots of kids. Three-quarters of all kids say they have been bullied or teased. Being bullied can make kids feel really bad. The stress of dealing with bullies can make kids feel sick.Bullying can make kids not want to play outside or go to school. It's hard to keep your mind on schoolwork when you're worried about how you're going to deal with the bully near your locker.
Bullying bothers everyone — and not just the kids who are getting picked on. Bullying can make school a place of fear and can lead to more violence and more stress for everyone.
Why Do Bullies Act That Way?
Some bullies are looking for attention. They might think bullying is a way to be popular or to get what they want. Most bullies are trying to make themselves feel more important. When they pick on someone else, it can make them feel big and powerful.Some bullies come from families where everyone is angry and shouting all the time. They may think that being angry, calling names, and pushing people around is a normal way to act. Some bullies are copying what they've seen someone else do. Some have been bullied themselves.
Sometimes bullies know that what they are doing or saying hurts other people. But other bullies may not really know how hurtful their actions can be. Most bullies don't understand or care about the feelings of others.
Bullies often pick on someone they think they can have power over. They might pick on kids who get upset easily or who have trouble sticking up for themselves. Getting a big reaction out of someone can make bullies feel like they have the power they want. Sometimes bullies pick on someone who is smarter than they are or different from them in some way. Sometimes bullies just pick on a kid for no reason at all.
Gemma told her mom that this one kid was picking on her for having red hair and freckles. She wanted to be like the other kids but she couldn’t change those things about herself. Finally Gemma made friends at her local swimming pool with a girl who wished she had red hair like Gemma's. The two girls became great friends and she learned to ignore the mean girl's taunts at school.
Bullying: How to Handle It
So now you know that bullying is a big problem that affects a lot of kids, but what do you do if someone is bullying you? Our advice falls into two categories: preventing a run-in with the bully, and what to do if you end up face-to-face with the bully.Preventing a Run-In With a Bully
Don't give the bully a chance. As much as you can, avoid the bully. You can't go into hiding or skip class, of course. But if you can take a different route and avoid him or her, do so.Stand tall and be brave. When you're scared of another person, you're probably not feeling your bravest. But sometimes just acting brave is enough to stop a bully. How does a brave person look and act? Stand tall and you'll send the message: "Don't mess with me." It's easier to feel brave when you feel good about yourself. See the next tip!
Feel good about you. Nobody's perfect, but what can you do to look and feel your best? Maybe you'd like to be more fit. If so, maybe you'll decide to get more exercise, watch less TV, and eat healthier snacks. Or maybe you feel you look best when you shower in the morning before school. If so, you could decide to get up a little earlier so you can be clean and refreshed for the school day.
Get a buddy (and be a buddy). Two is better than one if you're trying to avoid being bullied. Make a plan to walk with a friend or two on the way to school or recess or lunch or wherever you think you might meet the bully. Offer to do the same if a friend is having bully trouble. Get involved if you see bullying going on in your school — tell an adult, stick up for the kid being bullied, and tell the bully to stop.
If The Bully Says or Does Something to You
Ignore the bully. If you can, try your best to ignore the bully's threats. Pretend you don't hear them and walk away quickly to a place of safety. Bullies want a big reaction to their teasing and meanness. Acting as if you don't notice and don't care is like giving no reaction at all, and this just might stop a bully's behavior.Stand up for yourself. Pretend to feel really brave and confident. Tell the bully "No! Stop it!" in a loud voice. Then walk away, or run if you have to. Kids also can stand up for each other by telling a bully to stop teasing or scaring someone else, and then walk away together. If a bully wants you to do something that you don't want to do — say "no!" and walk away. If you do what a bully says to do, they will likely keep bullying you. Bullies tend to bully kids who don't stick up for themselves.
Don't bully back. Don't hit, kick, or push back to deal with someone bullying you or your friends. Fighting back just satisfies a bully and it's dangerous, too, because someone could get hurt. You're also likely to get in trouble. It's best to stay with others, stay safe, and get help from an adult.
Don't show your feelings. Plan ahead. How can you stop yourself from getting angry or showing you're upset? Try distracting yourself (counting backwards from 100, spelling the word 'turtle' backwards, etc.) to keep your mind occupied until you are out of the situation and somewhere safe where you can show your feelings.
Tell an adult. If you are being bullied, it's very important to tell an adult. Find someone you trust and go and tell them what is happening to you. Teachers, principals, parents, and lunchroom helpers at school can all help to stop bullying. Sometimes bullies stop as soon as a teacher finds out because they're afraid that they will be punished by parents. This is not tattling on someone who has done something small — bullying is wrong and it helps if everyone who gets bullied or sees someone being bullied speaks up.
What Happens to Bullies?
In the end, most bullies wind up in trouble. If they keep acting mean and hurtful, sooner or later they may have only a few friends left — usually other kids who are just like them. The power they wanted slips away fast. Other kids move on and leave bullies behind.Luis lived in fear of Brian — every day he would give his lunch money to Brian but he still beat him up. He said that if Luis ever told anyone he would beat him up in front of all the other kids in his class. Luis even cried one day and another girl told everyone that he was a baby and had been crying. Luis was embarrassed and felt so bad about himself and about school. Finally, Brian got caught threatening Luis and they were both sent to the school counselor. Brian got in a lot of trouble at home. Over time, Brian learned how to make friends and ask his parents for lunch money. Luis never wanted to be friends with Brian but he did learn to act strong and more confident around him.
Some kids who bully blame others. But every kid has a choice about how to act. Some kids who bully realize that they don't get the respect they want by threatening others. They may have thought that bullying would make them popular, but they soon find out that other kids just think of them as trouble-making losers.
The good news is that kids who are bullies can learn to change their behavior. Teachers, counselors, and parents can help. So can watching kids who treat others fairly and with respect. Bullies can change if they learn to use their power in positive ways. In the end, whether bullies decide to change their ways is up to them. Some bullies turn into great kids. Some bullies never learn.
But no one needs to put up with a bully's behavior. If you or someone you know is bothered by a bully, talk to someone you trust. Everyone has the right to feel safe, and being bullied makes people feel unsafe. Tell someone about it and keep telling until something is done.
Friday, November 25, 2011
You Can Stop Bullying
You Can Stop Bullying from The Pittsburgh Foundation on Vimeo.
You Can Stop Bullying
Bullying is a huge problem for kids and teenagers today. You see it on the bus, in the halls at school and especially online. Today we have more access to new media like smartphones, YouTube and Facebook than ever before which means that for most kids cyberbullying has replaced fighting in the playground as the most common and often the most hurtful kind of bullying.
But the good news is YOU have the power to stop bullying !!
Monday, November 21, 2011
Bullying: It's Not OK
Bullying is when one child picks on another child again and again. Usually children who are being bullied are either weaker or smaller, are shy, and generally feel helpless.
Facts About Bullying
- Both girls and boys can be bullies.
- Bullies target children who cry, get mad, or easily give in to them.
- There are 3 types of bullying.
- Physical—hitting, kicking, pushing, choking, punching
- Verbal—threatening, taunting, teasing, hate speech
- Social—excluding victims from activities or starting rumors about them
Bullying Happens:
- At school—in the halls, at lunch, or in the bathroom, when teachers are not there to see what is going on.
- When adults are not watching—going to and from school, on the playground, or in the neighborhood.
- Through e-mail or instant messaging—rumors are spread or nasty notes are sent.
Bullying is Different from Fighting or Teasing:
- A bully has power over another child.
- Bullies try to control other children by scaring them.
- Being picked on over and over can make your child a victim.
- Bullying usually happens when other children are watching.
Talk With Your Child About Bullying
Even if you don’t think your child is bullied, a bully, or a bystander, you will be helping to protect your child just by asking these questions:- “How are things going at school?”
- “What do you think of the other kids in your class?”
- “Does anyone get picked on or bullied?”
Help your child learn how to respond
Let’s talk about what you can do and say if this happens again.Teach your child how to:
- Look the bully in the eye.
- Stand tall and stay calm in a difficult situation.
- Walk away.
- “I don’t like what you are doing.”
- “Please do NOT talk to me like that.”
- “Why would you say that?”
Teach your child when and how to ask for help. Your child should not be afraid to ask an adult for help when bullying happens. Since some children are embarrassed about being bullied, parents need to let their children know that being bullied is not their fault.
Encourage your child to make friends with other children. There are many adult-supervised groups, in and out of school, that your child can join. Invite your child’s friends over to your home. Children who are loners are more likely to get picked on.
Support activities that interest your child. By participating in activities such as team sports, music groups, or social clubs, your child will develop new abilities and social skills. When children feel good about how they relate to others, they are less likely to be picked on.
Alert school officials to the problems and work with them on solutions.
- Since bullying often occurs outside the classroom, talk with the principal, guidance counselor, or playground monitors, as well as your child’s teachers. When school officials know about bullying, they can help stop it.
- Write down and report all bullying to your child’s school. By knowing when and where the bullying occurs, you and your child can better plan what to do if it happens again.
- Some children who are bullied will fear going to school, have difficulty paying attention at school, or develop symptoms like headaches or stomach pains.
When Your Child is the Bully
If you know that your child is bullying others, take it very seriously. Now is the time when you can change your child’s behavior.In the long run, bullies continue to have problems. These problems often get worse. If the bullying behavior is allowed to continue, then when these children become adults, they are much less successful in their work and family lives and may even get in trouble with the law.
Set firm and consistent limits on your child’s aggressive behavior. Be sure your child knows that bullying is never OK.
Be a positive role model. Children need to develop new and constructive strategies for getting what they want.
Show children that they can get what they want without teasing, threatening, or hurting someone. All children can learn to treat others with respect.
Use effective, nonphysical discipline, such as loss of privileges. When your child needs discipline, explain why the behavior was wrong and how your child can change it.
Help your child understand how bullying hurts other children. Give real examples of the good and bad results of your child’s actions.
Develop practical solutions with others. Together with the school principal, teachers, counselors, and parents of the children your child has bullied, find positive ways to stop the bullying.
Anti-Bullying, Bullying Quotes (www.getoutthebox.org)
Here is a selection of bullying and anti-bullying quotes from a few web sites about quotes. Hopefully if you are a victim of bullying these quotes might make you think.
“The bullying stopped when I claimed myself and proved that I wasn’t afraid. A lot of it was when I was hiding when I was younger.” ~ Randy Harrison
“True courage is cool and calm. The bravest of men have the least of a brutal, bullying insolence, and in the very time of danger are found the most serene and free.” ~ Lord Shaftesbury
“The challenge of leadership is to be strong, but not rude; be kind, but not weak; be bold, but not bully; be thoughtful, but not lazy; be humble, but not timid; be proud, but not arrogant; have humor, but without folly.” ~ Jim Rohn
“I do not at all have the mind of a bully… in my mind bullies are intolerant of contrary opinion, domineering and rather cowardly. I would hope that none of those terms could be fairly used in describing me.” ~ Conrad Black
“Never be bullied into silence. Never allow yourself to be made a victim. Accept no one’s definition of your life, but define yourself.” ~ Harvey S. Firestone
“Bullies are always cowards at heart and may be credited with a pretty safe instinct in scenting their prey.” ~ Anna Julia Cooper
“First they ignore you, then they laugh at you, then they fight you, then you win.” ~ Mahatma Gandhi
“All it takes is one good friend and school is a good place to be.” ~ Judy H. Wright
“Who gets harmed by bullying? Bullying behavior harms both the victim and perpetrator. If a child experiences chronic intimidation, he or she may learn to expect this from others. When a child or teen is mean to another it is important to look for patterns and motivations. If he or she is allowed to continue the behavior it becomes habitual. He becomes more likely to surround himself with friends who condone and promote aggressive behavior. He may not develop a mature sense of justice. If he intimidates others to cover up his own insecurities, his own anxiety may increase.” ~ Carol Watkins, M.D.
“If you can’t beat them, arrange to have them beaten.” ~ George Carlin
http://www.getoutthebox.org
Sunday, November 20, 2011
Friday, November 18, 2011
Wednesday, November 16, 2011
How to Bully-Proof Your Kids
Your child does not have to put up with a bully, or even be the target of a bully. The following is a list of things you can do to make your child bully proof.
1. Enroll your child in a karate, self defense, or some other course that will help them learn some moves to ward off attackers, and protect themselves from physical harm. Bullies usually start out their bullying with emotional warfare, and then move toward physical bullying. Sometimes a bully will go straight to hitting, kicking, and the like. So, to make sure your child does not get beat up by a bully, teach them how to defend themselves.
2. Encourage your child to tell on bullies. Even if your child is not the one being bullied, if they know someone who is, they should tell on them. A bully can hurt someone. If a bully is going to bully another child, and knows that you are going to tell on them if they bully someone else, you will likely tell if they bully you. A bully doesn’t want to bully someone who they know is going to get them in trouble. It is not worth the risk, especially when there is someone who will let them get away with bullying.
3. Make sure your child travels with a friend. Bullies like to pick on kids who are alone. They prefer to pick on the easiest targets. So, make sure that your child is not an easy target. If you want your child to be bully proof, encourage them to travel in pairs. Having a buddy with you makes it easier for your child to avoid the confrontation and aggressiveness of bullies.
4. Limit your child’s time on the Internet. You need to monitor online use because much of today’s bullying has become sophisticated, and is less about the physical and face-to-face abuse, but the mental and psychological abuse. They might torment your child through emails, instant messages, social networking posts, and the like. So, help your child avoid this by teaching them about appropriate online usage, and how to protect themselves by not setting themselves up for bullying. If your kid puts an incriminating picture, or writes something that can be construed to mean something else, a bully will use it for fodder, so make sure your online security is high, and your kids are thinking about their actions.
5. Enroll your child in schools with no tolerance programs. It is much easier to make your child bully proof if you have support of the schools, where a lot of bullying takes place. Encourage your school to start a no bullying program, and to enforce it. Encourage them to provide courses for self-defense and the like. This will help your child steer clear of bullies, as many kids won’t risk getting kicked out of school just to pick on someone.
http://www.getoutthebox.org
1. Enroll your child in a karate, self defense, or some other course that will help them learn some moves to ward off attackers, and protect themselves from physical harm. Bullies usually start out their bullying with emotional warfare, and then move toward physical bullying. Sometimes a bully will go straight to hitting, kicking, and the like. So, to make sure your child does not get beat up by a bully, teach them how to defend themselves.
2. Encourage your child to tell on bullies. Even if your child is not the one being bullied, if they know someone who is, they should tell on them. A bully can hurt someone. If a bully is going to bully another child, and knows that you are going to tell on them if they bully someone else, you will likely tell if they bully you. A bully doesn’t want to bully someone who they know is going to get them in trouble. It is not worth the risk, especially when there is someone who will let them get away with bullying.
Teach your child to respect others.
3. Make sure your child travels with a friend. Bullies like to pick on kids who are alone. They prefer to pick on the easiest targets. So, make sure that your child is not an easy target. If you want your child to be bully proof, encourage them to travel in pairs. Having a buddy with you makes it easier for your child to avoid the confrontation and aggressiveness of bullies.
4. Limit your child’s time on the Internet. You need to monitor online use because much of today’s bullying has become sophisticated, and is less about the physical and face-to-face abuse, but the mental and psychological abuse. They might torment your child through emails, instant messages, social networking posts, and the like. So, help your child avoid this by teaching them about appropriate online usage, and how to protect themselves by not setting themselves up for bullying. If your kid puts an incriminating picture, or writes something that can be construed to mean something else, a bully will use it for fodder, so make sure your online security is high, and your kids are thinking about their actions.
5. Enroll your child in schools with no tolerance programs. It is much easier to make your child bully proof if you have support of the schools, where a lot of bullying takes place. Encourage your school to start a no bullying program, and to enforce it. Encourage them to provide courses for self-defense and the like. This will help your child steer clear of bullies, as many kids won’t risk getting kicked out of school just to pick on someone.
http://www.getoutthebox.org
How to Prevent Bullying-Ways to Stop Your Child From Being Bullied
Bullying is not something a parent wants to see done to their child, and fortunately there are a few things you can do to stop your child from being bullied at school. If you and they work on the following five things, the chances of your child being bullied will decrease.
1. Help your kid be cool. It is a well known fact that bullies tend to prey on the weaker kids, the ones on the outskirts of the social hierarchy, the ones who are easy targets. If you don’t want your child to be bullied, you have to try and make your child one of the cool kids, someone who has friends, and is accepted by peers. To do this, you have to mimic the things that are cool. This means dressing right, being involved in the right after school activities, etc. This does not mean you should compromise your child’s identity, just try to make it a little more streamline.
2. Buddy system beats the bully system. Bullies pick on the loners, and usually only pick targets that are easy to attack, whether that is verbally or physically. A single bully is less likely to attack a child who is with a friend or in a group. So, make sure your child has a friend they walk to and from school with, and encourage them to hang out in groups on the playground, and near the playground monitors if bullying is a real problem, as a bully will be less likely to attack if they are near adults.
3. Help them improve their confidence. A child with high self esteem is not usually a target for bullies. The reason being that bullies bully for the satisfaction of seeing their words etc. affect the victim. A child with high self esteem isn’t going to crumble at name calling etc. You can’t just give a child self esteem, they have to find it on their own, but you can help them develop their skills and talents, and constantly reinforce their worth to them until they start to feel they are someone of worth.
4. Teach them to tell on the bully. If they bully is getting in trouble each time they pick on your child because never fail your child tells, chances are they will stop picking on them soon enough. A bully isn’t going to want to get in trouble any more than the next kid, and if your child fails to report the bullying, it is like telling the bully that they have a free pass. So, even if it makes them feel like a tattle tell, or a baby, or whatever else, make sure they tell.
5. Help them develop a thicker skin. It is imperative that your child develops a thick skin if you want to prevent bullying. Bullies do so for reactions, so if your child bursts into tears or a fit anytime someone looks in their direction the wrong way it will be like a flashing light above their head telling people to bully them.
http://www.getoutthebox.org
Ten Anti-Bullying Tips
Being bullied is never easy, and can make a child feel very powerless, alone, isolated, and fearful. The following are ten things your child can do to stop a bully. These tactics works for adults as well as children. No matter what the bullying situation, it is possible to stop a bully by trying the following ten tactics.
1. Learn to look or act indifferent. A lot of bullying comes as a result of the reactions you give bullies when they push your buttons. If they find that they can elicit a response from you, they will continue to bully you. So, learn to keep your emotions off your face, so that they give up and move on.
2. Ignore the bully if you can. Bullies usually taunt first, and bully second. So, ignore them if you can. If they instant message you, don’t respond. If they yell your name at school, just keep walking. If they come up to you in a classroom, just look the other way. Ignore, ignore, ignore. Bullies feed off of attention.
3. Stand up to them. This does not mean bully back, it just means that you shouldn’t put up with it. Let them know that you will tell on them, that you aren’t going to just take it, and that you aren’t afraid to get them in trouble. Usually bullies pick on kids who are too weak or too frightened to ever get them in trouble.
4. Avoid the bully. Sometimes bullies will bully out of opportunity more than anything else. So, avoid places, situations, times, and people that may lead to you being bullied. For example, don’t wander clear out by the fence during recess because a bully will have ample time to bully you without a playground monitor catching them.
5. Tell someone. There is a difference between tattling and telling. If you just tell to get them in trouble you are a tattle, but if you tell because they pose a danger to you or your friends, tell on them.
6. Be brave. You can’t show a bully that you are afraid of them, or the bullying will get worse. If you fear standing up to them, fear telling on them, and fear interaction with them, and let them know it, you empower them. So, instead, work on that mask of indifference, and avoid them when possible.
7. Work the buddy system. Bullies tend to single out kids who are already singled out, who are alone. It is far easier for one kid to pick on one kid, than one kid to pick on two. So, have a buddy when you are in situations where you might run into the bully.
8. Build self-esteem. Bullies can sense when someone has low esteem, and they prey on that. It is like they figure out what you are most afraid of, and self conscious of, and that is what they target.
9. Confront them. It is important that if the bully you, you call them out on it. Ask them what their problem is, why they are picking on you, and make sure they know you are the victim. Sometimes recognizing that they are making someone a victim will give them a wake up call, and get them to stop.
10. Report it every time. If it happens at school, tell the teacher, lunch lady, hall monitor, or whomever you need to to make sure it gets stopped. If it happens enough times, is reported often enough, etc. it will eventually stop.
http://www.getoutthebox.org
1. Learn to look or act indifferent. A lot of bullying comes as a result of the reactions you give bullies when they push your buttons. If they find that they can elicit a response from you, they will continue to bully you. So, learn to keep your emotions off your face, so that they give up and move on.
2. Ignore the bully if you can. Bullies usually taunt first, and bully second. So, ignore them if you can. If they instant message you, don’t respond. If they yell your name at school, just keep walking. If they come up to you in a classroom, just look the other way. Ignore, ignore, ignore. Bullies feed off of attention.
3. Stand up to them. This does not mean bully back, it just means that you shouldn’t put up with it. Let them know that you will tell on them, that you aren’t going to just take it, and that you aren’t afraid to get them in trouble. Usually bullies pick on kids who are too weak or too frightened to ever get them in trouble.
4. Avoid the bully. Sometimes bullies will bully out of opportunity more than anything else. So, avoid places, situations, times, and people that may lead to you being bullied. For example, don’t wander clear out by the fence during recess because a bully will have ample time to bully you without a playground monitor catching them.
5. Tell someone. There is a difference between tattling and telling. If you just tell to get them in trouble you are a tattle, but if you tell because they pose a danger to you or your friends, tell on them.
6. Be brave. You can’t show a bully that you are afraid of them, or the bullying will get worse. If you fear standing up to them, fear telling on them, and fear interaction with them, and let them know it, you empower them. So, instead, work on that mask of indifference, and avoid them when possible.
7. Work the buddy system. Bullies tend to single out kids who are already singled out, who are alone. It is far easier for one kid to pick on one kid, than one kid to pick on two. So, have a buddy when you are in situations where you might run into the bully.
8. Build self-esteem. Bullies can sense when someone has low esteem, and they prey on that. It is like they figure out what you are most afraid of, and self conscious of, and that is what they target.
9. Confront them. It is important that if the bully you, you call them out on it. Ask them what their problem is, why they are picking on you, and make sure they know you are the victim. Sometimes recognizing that they are making someone a victim will give them a wake up call, and get them to stop.
10. Report it every time. If it happens at school, tell the teacher, lunch lady, hall monitor, or whomever you need to to make sure it gets stopped. If it happens enough times, is reported often enough, etc. it will eventually stop.
http://www.getoutthebox.org
Anti-Bully Slogans for School
Anti Bully Slogans For Schools
Don’t be mean behind the screen.
Online harassment has an off-line impact
Think twice what you type
Control , Escape , Delete .
Be nice on the Net
Delete cyber bullying, don’t write it, don’t foward it
Don’t be mean behind the screen.
It isn’t big to make make others feel small
Bullying is Whack, Get On The Right Track
Keep in mind
To be kind
Cos bullying’s mean
And not to be seen.
Step up so others won’t get stepped on.
Bullying? Be Smart, Don’t Start
Take a stand. Lend a Hand
Online harassment has an off-line impact
Think twice what you type
Be cool in our school
It’s Bully Free
And so are we!!!!
Control , Escape , Delete .
Bullies are not cool they’re just cruel
Bullying is like smoking, it can kill.
UNITED WE STAND; DIVIDED WE FALL
Niceness is Priceless
Bulling is cruel so dont act like a fool
Leave bullying to bulls. Become human
Meanness is a sign of weakness!
Be the change you wish to see in the world
Some bruises are on the inside. Stop bullying.
Bullies tear down. Friends build up.
What goes around comes around.
By being a bully you show everyone what an inferior coward you are.
Use Your Brain, Being A Bully Won’t Gain
Nasty Names hurt just as much as a knife.
Let’s cheer, bulling is not accepted here!
Bulling is bad.. Don’t make others feel sad
A bully tries to put you down, because they are not up.
No one will miss a bully.
Make The Grade, Join The Anti-Bully Crusade
If you turn and face the other way when someone is being bullied, you might as well be the bully too.
Who wants a bully for a friend?
Help, Don’t Hurt
It’s easy to bully, but the really strong help others.
A bully won’t stop until he is stopped.
Support,report,defend
Stop the pain YOU cause!
Only cowards are bullies.
Bullies are cowards inside.
It takes a stronger person to do what’s right, don’t belittle .
Bullies need to make others feel insecure because they are insecure.
Do you realize how much YOU hurt!
Be nice on the Net
Delete cyber bullying, don’t write it, don’t foward it
http://www.getoutthebox.org
Tuesday, November 15, 2011
Friday, November 11, 2011
Strategies for Bullied Students
General Strategies:
- Look confident (assertive body language) by standing tall and holding your head up.
- Don’t cry and run off. Instead move closer, turn sideways, and have non-threatening eye contact.
- Keep your facial expressions neutral. Don’t look sad and don’t look angry.
- Hold your arms beside your body. Don’t hold your arms up like you want to fight.
- Make your assertive comment and then walk off confidently.
- Make an assertive statement: With a serious face and a strong but calm voice say, "Stop it!" or say, “This is a waste of my time. I’m out of here.” (walk off confidently) - Or say some other appropriate comment, but do not provoke the student who bullies
- Fogging—(admit the characteristic) soft verbal comebacks. For example, “Allan, you sure are fat.” You could say, “You’re right, I need to lose weight.” (walk off confidently)
- Admit the Obvious—point out that the bully sees the obvious— “Wow! He noticed I have big ears.” (walk off confidently)
- Broken record — repeat “What did you say?” or “That’s your opinion.” or “So.” (Then, walk off confidently)
- Confront bully concerning his/her spreading lies/rumors. (walk off confidently.)
- Expose the ignorance of the student who bullies you. For example, if he is bullying you because of your medical problem or disability, tell him the facts about it. (walk off confidently)
- Give permission to tease– “Well, it’s okay to say what you want. It doesn’t bother me.” (walk off confidently.)
- Use sense of humor (do not make the bully feel like he/she is being laughed at). For example, if the bully says, “You sure do have big ears.” You could say, “I know, sometimes I feel like I am an elephant.” (walk off confidently)
- Make an asset of characteristic. For example, one boy was teased because he lost his hair because of cancer treatments. He said, “Well, I guess Michael Jordan and I are alike, we both don’t have much hair.” (walked off confidently)
- Throw something and run when you are at risk of being hurt or you are in danger.
Assertiveness Strategies for Bystanders
Note: Use the following information only with the recommendation of your teacher or counselor and your parents. These strategies should also be used with other strategies to keep you and others safe.
General Strategies:- Look confident (assertive body language) by standing tall, with your shoulders back
- Move closer to the bully, beside the victim, turn sideways, and give the bully non-threatening eye contact
- Keep your facial expressions neutral
- Keep your arms beside your body
- Make your stand then leave the situation
- Make assertive statements for the victim: With a serious face and a strong but calm voice say, "Stop it!" or say “This is a waste of Bobby’s time and my time. Come with me Bobby.” (walk off confidently with Bobby) - Or say some other appropriate comment, but do not provoke the student who bullies.
- Use “Fogging.” For example, admit that you also have the characteristic the bully is using to tease someone): “You know, Bobby and I both need to lose weight. Come with me Bobby.” (walk off confidently with Bobby)
- Exhaust the topic (repeated questioning about putdown). For example, “How many people do you know that are fat?” “How overweight do you have to be to be fat?” “How long do you have to be overweight to be fat?” “Come with me Bobby.” (walk off confidently with Bobby)
- Broken record — repeat: “What did you say?” or “That’s your opinion.” or “So.” “Come with me Bobby.” (walk off confidently with Bobby)
- Confront the bully concerning his/her spreading rumors and lies about someone. Refuse to spread the lies and demand that the rumors/stop.
- Expose the ignorance of the bully when he/she is teasing someone because of their disability or medical problem. Reveal the facts. Then ask the victim of bullying to walk off with you. (walk off confidently with Bobby)
- Give the bully permission to tease: “Well, it’s okay to say what you want. It doesn’t bother Bobby and it doesn’t bother me. Come with me Bobby.” (walk off confidently with Bobby)
- Take on the characteristic used to tease someone and use a sense of humor: “You know Bobby and I both have big ears, sometimes we feel like elephants. Don’t we Bobby?” or “You know, Bobby and I both are pretty stupid. Come with me Bobby.” (walk off confidently with Bobby)
- Make an asset of the characteristic used to tease someone: “Well, I guess _______ ______ (a famous popular person) and Bobby look alike, they both don’t have a lot of hair. I wish I looked like Bobby. Hey Bobby, come with me.” (walk off confidently with Bobby)
Seven Things Kids Need to Know about Bullying
1. Bullying is disobeying the Golden Rule - treat others the way you want to be treated. The Golden Rule is the answer to all relationship problems. Don’t let others convince you to mistreat someone, to laugh when they are mistreated and don’t ignore it.
2. Remember, no one deserves to be bullied. Don’t let others convince you that you are defective or that you aren’t what you should be. It is never okay to bully someone. If you are doing something that doesn’t help you make and keep friends, try to stop it. But they never have the right to bully you.
3. Always tell a trusted adult and have hope. We know how to prevent and stop bullying. This is not a problem you should try to solve on your own. If the adult doesn’t help you, then tell another adult. One way to stand up for yourself is to ask an adult to help you. You are not tattling, you are reporting. When you tattle, you are trying to get someone into trouble. When you report, you are trying to help someone who is in trouble. Ask an adult to help you develop a safety plan – a way to immediately stay safe. For awhile, report once or twice a day to a trusted adult to let them know how your day went. Ask your parents to keep a log of your mistreatment and to take pictures of injuries. Ask your parents to talk to the school – it may be best that they not be seen there by students who bully you. When adults get involved, bullying can be prevented and stopped. You need their help and those who mistreat others need their help to change. You parents need to know the do’s and don’ts in dealing with bullying. Tell your parents to visit www.bullyfree.com for tips. We now know how adults can help children. Maybe your parents can get an anti-bullying program started in your school. There should be a school-wide program.
4. Bullies want to hurt you, so don’t let them know they have hurt you. If they hurt your feelings, tell an adult about it and write about them in a journal/diary. Don’t hide your feelings and thoughts. There is no reason you should be ashamed. The hurt caused by bullying is stressful, so take care of yourself by eating right and exercising.
5. Students who don’t want to mistreat others out number those who do. You have a lot of power. You don’t have to ignore bullying. You don’t have to laugh. You don’t have to do what the bully says. Take a stand against bullying and help each other to have the courage to make your school Bully Free®.
6. Bullies want to have power and control over you. So don’t look like an easy target. Stand straight and tall, with your shoulders back and head up, walk in a relaxed and energetic way. Don’t let the bully see you sad and cry. Learn assertiveness skills. Your words have power. Visit www.bullyfree.com to see examples of assertiveness skills.
7. Never walk alone and try to avoid the bully as much as possible. If you see the bully coming, walk in a different direction, but don’t act scared. Join others nearby. Keep the bully guessing where you are.
Thursday, November 10, 2011
Tuesday, November 8, 2011
ABC Family- Cyberbullying (Full Movie)
Cyberbully follows Taylor Hillridge (Emily Osment), a teenage girl who falls victim to online bullying, and the cost it takes on her as well as her friends and family. Taylor is a pretty seventeen-year-old student dealing with her parents' recent divorce and painfully aware of her lower social status in high school. When her mom gives her a computer for her birthday, Taylor is excited by the prospect of going online to meet new friends without her mother always looking over her shoulder. However, Taylor soon finds herself the victim of betrayal and bullying while visiting a popular social website. Obsessed with the damaging posts, she begins to withdraw from her family and friends, including her life-long best friend, Samantha Caldone (Kay Panabaker). Tormented and afraid to face her peers at school, Taylor is pushed to an extreme breaking point. It is only after this life-changing event that Taylor learns that she is not alone – meeting other teens, including a classmate, who have had similar experiences. Taylor's mom, Kris (Kelly Rowan), reels from the incident and takes on the school system and state legislation to help prevent others from going through the same harrowing ordeal as her daughter.
Sunday, November 6, 2011
Celebrities who were bullied as kids
Bully-phobia: a deep-rooted fear of returning to school after summer break, due to potential hecklers and unprecedented taunts. Yeah, we've been there. So have some of the most successful humans on the planet. If you're wondering how you're going to survive another year of trash-talkers, look to the stars. They fared pretty well, despite the endless cruelty of their classmates. It seems to be a running theme: get bullied in high school for being different, become a huge success as an adult.
Exhibit A: Robert Pattinson, better known now as R-Patz. Before he was double-fisting MTV movie awards, he was getting slammed against lockers. As a kid he had bigger problems than fending off vampire impulses.
“I got beaten up by a lot of people when I was younger,” Pattinson, said in an interview with Parade. What made him a target, of course, was the same thing that made him a famous: acting. “I liked to behave like an actor, or how I thought an actor was supposed to be, and that apparently provoked a lot of people into hitting me.” Nowadays, it just provokes throngs of women to mob him.
Taylor Lautner
"I was never extremely confident," Lautner said in an interview with Rolling Stone. "Because I was an actor, when I was in school there was a little bullying going on. Not physical bullying but people making fun of what I do ... I just had to tell myself I can't let this get to me. This is what love to do. And I'm going to continue to do it." Good choice.
Christian Bale
Here's how Bale remembers his childhood: "It was not a great time. I was a victim of bullying and had other kids kicking and punching me every day." You'd think a child star, who shot to fame in Steven Spielberg's "Empire of the Sun", would be an instant locker room celebrity. But in Bale's school, it put a bully bullseye on his back. "He had a tough time at school," Bale's mom Jenny has said. "The bullying was quite bad and made him very sad. It really put him off the film and stardom thing." Spoiler alert: it didn't put him off of it for very long.
President Obama
"I have to say that with big ears and the name that I have, I was not immune. I did not emerge unscathed," Obama said at a press conference addressing the problem of school bullying. Now that he's grown up, landed on the cover of GQ, started a family with as fashion icon, and got a really, really, really good job, those bullies probably wish they were a little nicer to him.
Winona Ryder
But as a kid, her unique style made her a social outcast. "I was wearing an old Salvation Army shop boy's suit," she said in an interview. "I heard people saying, 'Hey, f----t.' They slammed my head into a locker. I fell to the ground..."
But like they say, it gets better. "Years later, I went to a coffee shop and I ran into one of the girls who'd kicked me, and she said, 'Winona, Winona, can I have your autograph?' And I said, 'Do you remember me? Remember in seventh grade you beat up that kid?' And she said, 'Kind of'. And I said, 'That was me. Go f*** yourself.'" Slow clap followed by uproarious applause, please.
But like they say, it gets better. "Years later, I went to a coffee shop and I ran into one of the girls who'd kicked me, and she said, 'Winona, Winona, can I have your autograph?' And I said, 'Do you remember me? Remember in seventh grade you beat up that kid?' And she said, 'Kind of'. And I said, 'That was me. Go f*** yourself.'" Slow clap followed by uproarious applause, please.
Eminem
As a scrawny 9-year-old, Marshall Mathers was so viciously bullied, his mom sued the Detroit school system. One particular Elementary School rival split his lip and knocked him out, according to the Smoking Gun. In another instance he came home beaten and bruised, after an encounter with his bully in a bathroom. One time he was hit with a snowball, believed to be packed with a hard enough substance to give him a concussion. It got so bad, his mom testified in court that the trauma caused him "nightmares and anti-social behavior." This was long before bullying became a national issue, worthy of serious intervention. So Mathers had to wait it out, and vent on paper. The result was the song "Brain Damage" on his chart-topping album, which publicly called out his childhood nemesis. Moral: Don't mess with a scrawny kid, or he'll have to call in the music industry for backup.
Christina Aguilera
As an aspiring teen pop star, she was the object of ridicule among her Staten Island classmates. A few tormenters would slash her tires to prevent her from getting to gigs on time and mess with her microphone to embarrass her on the stage. "There was a lot of resentment and I think there was a bit of jealousy involved," Aguilera revealed during her 'Behind the Music'. "There were threats that were made on me and my mom. They would thrash my tires if I would win a certain competition... I just remember (thinking), 'I gotta get out of here, I gotta go make my dream out there."
Mila Kunis
"I was always the smallest in my class," Kunis said in an interview with OK Magazine. "I grew into my face. I had a very funny looking face when I was little. I had like big eyes, big lips, big ears. But when I was little I was constantly being made fun of for having big eyes and that was awful. I used to come home crying: 'Why do I have big eyes?'" Turns out they come in handy on screen when you need to draw attention away from Justin Timberlake.
Lady Gaga
Gaga remembers that time not-so-fondly, as the era she was "teased for being ugly, having a big nose, being annoying." Her classmates also made fun of the way she dressed and wore makeup, because they totally knew better when it came to fashion. Yeah, right.
Madonna
"In high school I wasn't a hippie or a stoner, so I ended up being the weirdo. I was interested in classical ballet and music, so the kids were quite mean if you were different," the First Lady of Pop told Vanity Fair. "I was one of those people that people were mean to."
So, as they say in the entertainment industry, she 'used it'. "I decided to emphasize my differences...If your joy is derived from what society thinks of you, you're always going to be disappointed." These days, she's rarely disappointed—not because she doesn't care what society thinks of her, but because she's freaking Madonna.
So, as they say in the entertainment industry, she 'used it'. "I decided to emphasize my differences...If your joy is derived from what society thinks of you, you're always going to be disappointed." These days, she's rarely disappointed—not because she doesn't care what society thinks of her, but because she's freaking Madonna.
Bullying Prevention Tips
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There are many reasons to kick the bully habit. Many bullies grow up into adults who bully thier families, friends, and co-workers, causing all sorts of problems with relationships and careers. It's hard to think about the future when you're feeling something here and now, but take a moment to see how your behavior may be laying down some pretty negative groundwork.
Copyright:2004 Castleworks,Inc. All rights reserved. from http://pbskids.org/itsmyife
Bully. What does the word make you think of? For some people, it's that girl at school who always makes fun of them. For others, it's the biggest guy in the neighborhood who's always trying to beat up or take their things. Sometimes "bully" means a whole group of kids, ganging up on someone else. No matter what situation or form it comes in, bullying can make you feel depressed, hurt, and alone. It can keep you from enjoying the activities and places that are part of your life.
Bullying happens everywhere, whether it's your town or Paris, France. It happens all the time, and it's happened since forever. Because it's so common , many adults think bullying is just normal part of growing up. You've probably heard parents or teachers say things like: "Don't let it get to you" or "You just have to be tougher"
But why should something that can make a person sommiserable have to be part of growing up? The answer is, it does'nt! Each and every one of us has the right to feel safe in our lives and good about ourselves. So we put together this guide to give you all the basics of dealing with bullies. Let's start by looking at the different kinds of bullying.
Physcial bullying means:
- Hitting,kicking, or pushing somone..or even just threatening to do it.
- Stealing, hiding or ruining somone's things.
- Making somone do things that he or she don't want to do.
Verbal Bullying means:
- Name-calling
- Teasing
- Insulting
Relationship Bullying means:
- Refusing to talk to someone.
- Spreading lies or rumors about someone.
- Making someone feel left out or rejected.
What do all these things have in common? They're examples of ways one person can make another person feel hurt, afraid, or uncomfortable. When thee are sone to someone more than once, and usually over and over again for a long period of time, that is bullying.
The reason why one kid would want o bully another kid is this: when you make someone feel bad, you gain power over him or her. Power makes people feel like they are better than another person, and then that makes them feel really good about themselves. Power also makes you stand out from the crowd. It's a way to get attention from other kids, and even from adults.
Did you Know.. The word "bully" used to mean the total opposite of what it means now? Five-hundred years ago, it meant friend, family member, or sweetheart. The root of the word comes from the Dutch Boel, meaning lover or brother. Big change.
htttp://pbskids.org/itsmylife Copyright 2004 Caslteworks, Inc.
In a bullying situation , there are usually bystanders, but they are not exactly "innocent".
Bullying usually happens with other kids around, right? Having an "audience" is very important to a bully. She wants people to see what she's doing , and that she has power over the person she's bullying. It's usually because a bully wants a reputation for being tough or strong, or because she thinks it'll make her more popular.
So what about the people watching the bully? Why are they letting it happen? Here are some possible reasons:
- The bully is someone other people look up to and want to hang out with.
- They want to "side" with the bully because to do that makes them feel strong. Siding with the bully's victim, on the other hand would make them feel weak.
- They are entertained by the bullying.
- They don't think speaking up will help.
- They're afraid that if they say something , the bully will hurt them.
- Watching the bullying is a way to bully "vicarously". This means that they feel like they're getting thier frustrations out by hurting someone even though they're not doing the hurting, just watching the hurting.
Did you know that if one person watching a bullying situation says " Stop It" half the time the bullying will stop? This can be hard to do, but it's important to try. When you stand by and do nothing , that's saying that bullying is okay with you. It makes you no better than the bully himself.
Here are some things you can do if you see someone getting bullied:
- Tell the bully to stop. Examples: "Cut it out" , "That's not funny", "How'd you like if someone did that to you?" Let the bully know that what he or she is doing stupid or mean.
- If you feel like you can't speak up , walk away from the situation and tell the nearest adult. Get them to come help. This is not tattling!
If you see someone being bullied over and over again--whethere that person is a friend , sibling, or classmate - you can make a big difference in helping to stop it.
- If your school has a bullying reporting program, like a hotline or "bully box" use it.
- Make sure the kid who's being bullied tells his parents, or a teacher. Offer to go with him if it will help.
- If she does'nt want to talk to anybody, offer talk to someone on her behalf.
- Involve as many people as possible, including other friends or classmates, parents, teachers, school counselors, and even the principal.
Do NOT use violence against bullies or try to get revenge on your own. It's possible that by speaking up or helping someone , you've made the bully want to come after you. Be prepared for this, and hold your. You already have adult support on your side.
Try to remeber the Golden Rule: Treat others the way you would like to be treated. Stand up for someone when he or she needs it, and when you need it , someone willstand up for you.
Cyber Bullying
Cyber Bullying Tips for Parents
Boys are as likely as girls to be targeted for threats or efforts to humiliate them on the internet . Gender does not affect a child's online risk profile . i-Safe America has created this list of internet safety tips to help your family recognize online danger and take the appropriate steps to protect yourselves.
- Don't open/read messsges from cyber bullies: Your child can't be intimidated by messages from cyber bullies they never open. Teach your child to curb his or her curiosity to read and respond to a message if they suspect or know a cyber bully has sent.
- Encourage your child to tell an adult: For some children, their reaction to being bullied is not only fright, but also confusion about how to react appropriately. Coach your child to tell a trusted adult if they are ever being bullied.
- Report cyber bullying: Internet Service Providers can often block a cyber bully, and schools have special procedures and rules to handle bullying. Save the bully's message and screen name, then contact and report it.
- No chatting while you are angry: Sending angry, hostile or taunting messages attracts cyber bullies. Make certain your child is not using e-mail messages or chat rooms to vent their own anger in a way that hurts others.
- If you are threatened with harm, tell the police: Even if you don't know how to identify the individual who has made the threat , law enforcement often has access to the information and may be able to track down and arrest them before they do harm.
- Be part of your child's online experience: It can be a fun journey to explore the wonders of the internet as a family. As computer - savy as kids and teens are today , they may even teach you a thing ot two!
- Get involved with i-SAFE AMERICA : These are only some of the measures you can take to ensure your child has a safe and enjoyable intenet experience.
Provided by i-Safe America www.i-safe.org
Friday, November 4, 2011
Bullying Prevention Tips for Kids and Teens
If You Are Bullied:
Stick with friends. There is safety in numbers. Avoid being alone in target areas like locker rooms,
restrooms, and places where the bully hangs out.
Be assertive and confident. Stand up for yourself. Use body language to show you are not afraid. Stand
up straight and make eye contact.
Ignore the bully. Walk away. Don’t respond. Get out of the situation.
Agree with the bully’s comments. Say “Whatever” or “You’re right.” Then walk away.
Don’t seek revenge. Remember that using violence to solve problems only makes things worse.
Get help. If you are being bullied, don’t keep it a secret. Ask friends or adults for help. Report all
bullying incidents.
If Someone Else Is Bullied
Don’t be a bystander. When no one speaks up, bullies learn they can get away with it.
Refuse to join in. Don’t take par in the bullying. Refuse to even watch.
Speak out. Distract the bully by changing the subject or using humor. Talk to the bully later, in private.
Stand up for the victim. Tell the bully to stop. Get a group to do this with you.
Give support. Talk to the person being bullied in private. Be a friend to that person. Make an effort to
include others who are normally left out or rejected.
Get an adult. Report any bullying you see to teachers or other adults. They can set clear, nonviolent
consequences for future bullying behavior.
Adopted from materials provided by Child Abuse Prevention Services and SCOPE Education Services
Ant-Bullying Quote of the Day: Taylor Lautner
“I was viewed as a little bit of an outcast. I didn’t have one group of friends who I hung out with every single day. I would have friends on my football team, friends in drama, friends in video production, and I would hand out with different people. I know that wasn’t the normal thing to do in high school. The normal thing is to be ina group or be part of a clique. But for me, I love hanging out with different people and just having fun.”
— Taylor Lautner on Seventeen Magazine
Thursday, November 3, 2011
Bullying Quotes for Kids: Being Yourself
To be nobody but yourself in a world which is doing its best, night and day, to make you everybody else means to fight the hardest battle which any human being can fight; and never stop fighting. ~e.e. cummings, 1955
He who trims himself to suit everyone will soon whittle himself away. ~Raymond Hull
God has given you one face, and you make yourself another. ~William Shakespeare
All my life I had been looking for something, and everywhere I turned someone tried to tell me what it was. I accepted their answers too, though they were often in contradiction and even self-contradictory. I was naïve. I was looking for myself and asking everyone except myself questions which I, and only I, could answer. It took me a long time and much painful boomeranging of my expectations to achieve a realization everyone else appears to have been born with: that I am nobody but myself. ~Ralph Ellison, "Battle Royal"
The life of every man is a diary in which he means to write one story, and writes another. ~James Matthew Barrie
Most people are other people. Their thoughts are someone else's opinions, their lives a mimicry, their passions a quotation. ~Oscar Wilde, De Profundis, 1905
Always be a first-rate version of yourself, instead of a second-rate version of somebody else. ~Judy Garland
We are so accustomed to disguise ourselves to others that in the end we become disguised to ourselves. ~François Duc de La Rochefoucauld
If you cannot be a poet, be the poem. ~David Carradine
A man who is "of sound mind" is one who keeps the inner madman under lock and key. ~Paul Valéry, Mauvaises pensées et autres, 1942
I am told to just be myself, but as much as I have practiced the impression, I am still no good at it. ~Robert Brault
The great majority of us are required to live a life of constant duplicity. Your health is bound to be affected if, day after day, you say the opposite of what you feel, if you grovel before what you dislike, and rejoice at what brings you nothing but misfortune. ~Boris Pasternak
It takes courage to grow up and become who you really are. ~e.e. cummings
Almost every man wastes part of his life in attempts to display qualities which he does not possess, and to gain applause which he cannot keep. ~Samuel Johnson, The Rambler, 1750
Hateful to me as the gates of Hades is that man who hides one thing in his heart and speaks another. ~Homer
How many cares one loses when one decides not to be something but to be someone. ~Gabrielle "Coco" Chanel
"Be yourself" is about the worst advice you can give some people. ~Tom Masson
I think of life itself now as a wonderful play that I've written for myself, and so my purpose is to have the utmost fun playing my part. ~Shirley MacLaine
Never be bullied into silence. Never allow yourself to be made a victim. Accept no one's definition of your life; define yourself. ~Harvey Fierstein
Learn to... be what you are, and learn to resign with a good grace all that you are not. ~Henri Frederic Amiel
I am much better employed from every point of view, when I live solely for my own satisfaction, than when I begin to worry about the world. The world frightens me, and a frightened man is no good for anything. ~George Gissing
No man can climb out beyond the limitations of his own character. ~John Morley
There is just one life for each of us: our own. ~Euripides
Never apologize for showing feeling. When you do so, you apologize for the truth. ~Benjamin Disraeli
If God had wanted me otherwise, He would have created me otherwise. ~Johann von Goethe
Wherever you go, go with all your heart. ~Confucius
Let the world know you as you are, not as you think you should be, because sooner or later, if you are posing, you will forget the pose, and then where are you? ~Fanny Brice
Every time you don't follow your inner guidance, you feel a loss of energy, loss of power, a sense of spiritual deadness. ~Shakti Gawain
At bottom every man knows well enough that he is a unique being, only once on this earth; and by no extraordinary chance will such a marvelously picturesque piece of diversity in unity as he is, ever be put together a second time. ~Friedrich Nietzsche
The most exhausting thing in life is being insincere. ~Anne Morrow Lindbergh
Originality is... a by-product of sincerity. ~Marianne Moore
Almost all absurdity of conduct arises from the imitation of those whom we cannot resemble. ~Samuel Johnson
If you are ashamed to stand by your colors, you had better seek another flag. ~Author Unknown
To be natural is such a very difficult pose to keep up. ~Oscar Wilde
All the knowledge I possess everyone else can acquire, but my heart is all my own. ~Johann von Goethe, The Sorrows of Young Werther, 1774
When one is pretending the entire body revolts. ~Anais Nin
It is not only possible to be the person you pretend to be, but there is less effort involved. ~Robert Brault,
We are betrayed by what is false within. ~George Meredith
No man for any considerable period can wear one face to himself and another to the multitude, without finally getting bewildered as to which may be the true. ~Nathaniel Hawthorne, The Scarlet Letter
Man is least himself when he talks in his own person. Give him a mask, and he will tell you the truth. ~Oscar Wilde
Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind. ~Dr. Seuss
My mom always said I liked to stir the pot with a glittering spoon. ~Kris Carr
No creature is fully itself till it is, like the dandelion, opened in the bloom of pure relationship to the sun, the entire living cosmos. ~D.H. Lawrence
Men weary as much of not doing the things they want to do as of doing the things they do not want to do. ~Eric Hoffer
It is the chiefest point of happiness that a man is willing to be what he is. ~Desiderius Erasmus
Like the sky opens after a rainy day we must open to ourselves.... Learn to love yourself for who you are and open so the world can see you shine. ~James Poland
All the mistakes I make arise from forsaking my own station and trying to see the object from another person's point of view. ~Ralph Waldo Emerson
Be what you are. This is the first step toward becoming better than you are. ~Julius Charles Hare
We all wear masks, and the time comes when we cannot remove them without removing some of our own skin. ~André Berthiaume, Contretemps
An unfulfilled vocation drains the color from a man's entire existence. ~Honoré de Balzac, "Scnes de la vie Parisienne," La Maison Nucingen, 1838
He who travels in search of something which he has not got, travels away from himself and grows old even in youth among old things. ~Ralph Waldo Emerson, "Self-Reliance"
There lurks, perhaps, in every human heart a desire of distinction, which inclines every man first to hope, and then to believe, that Nature has given him something peculiar to himself. ~Samuel Johnson
You must have control of the authorship of your own destiny. The pen that writes your life story must be held in your own hand. ~Irene C. Kassorla
Is life not a hundred times too short for us to stifle ourselves. ~Friedrich Nietzsche
You were born an original. Don't die a copy. ~John Mason
It is better to be hated for what you are than to be loved for something you are not. ~Andre Gide
There is in a man an upwelling spring of life, energy, love, whatever you like to call it. If a course is not cut for it, it turns the ground round it into a swamp. ~Mark Rutherford (William Hale White), More Pages from a Journal, 1910
Once conform, once do what others do because they do it, and a kind of lethargy steals over all the finer senses of the soul. ~Michel Eyquem de Montaigne
Most of our faults are more pardonable than the means we use to conceal them. ~François, Duc de La Rochefoucauld, Maxims, 1665
Man would be "otherwise." That's the essence of the specifically human. ~Antonio Machado
Individualism is rather like innocence: There must be something unconscious about it. ~Louis Kronenberger, Company Manners, 1954
Why try to be someone you're not? Life is hard enough without adding impersonation to the skills required. ~Robert Brault
We are what we pretend to be, so we must be careful about what we pretend to be. ~Kurt Vonnegut
One's real life is often the life that one does not lead. ~Oscar Wilde, L'Envoi to Rose-leaf and Apple-leaf, 1882
The white light streams down to be broken up by those human prisms into all the colors of the rainbow. ~Charles R. Brown
Rabbi Zusya said that on the Day of Judgment, God would ask him, not why he had not been Moses, but why he had not been Zusya. ~Walter Kaufmann
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