Wednesday, February 29, 2012
Myths and facts about cutting and self-harm
Because cutting and other means of self-harm tend to be taboo subjects, the people around you—and possibly even you—may harbor serious misconceptions about your motivations and state of mind. Don’t let these myths get in the way of getting help or helping someone you care about.
Myth: People who cut and self-injure are trying to get attention.
Fact: The painful truth is that people who self-harm generally do so in secret. They aren’t trying to manipulate others or draw attention to themselves. In fact, shame and fear can make it very difficult to come forward and ask for help.
Myth: People who self-injure are crazy and/or dangerous.
Fact: It is true that many people who self-harm suffer from anxiety, depression, or a previous trauma—just like millions of others in the general population. Self-injury is how they cope. Slapping them with a “crazy” or “dangerous” label isn’t accurate or helpful.
Myth: People who self-injure want to die.
Fact: Self-injurers usually do not want to die. When they self-harm, they are not trying to kill themselves—they are trying to cope with their pain. In fact, self-injury may be a way of helping themselves go on living. However, in the long-term, people who self-injure have a much higher risk of suicide, which is why it’s so important to seek help.
Myth: If the wounds aren’t bad, it’s not that serious.
Fact: The severity of a person’s wounds has very little to do with how much he or she may be suffering. Don’t assume that because the wounds or injuries are minor, there’s nothing to worry about.
Helping a friend or family member who cuts or self-injures
Perhaps you’ve noticed suspicious injuries on someone close to you, or that person has confided to you that he or she is cutting. Whatever the case may be, you may be feeling unsure of yourself. What should you say? How can you help?
- Deal with your own feelings. You may feel shocked, confused, or even disgusted by self-harming behaviors—and guilty about admitting these feelings. Acknowledging your feelings is an important first step toward helping your loved one.
- Learn about the problem. The best way to overcome any discomfort or distaste you feel about self-harm is by learning about it. Understanding why your friend or family member is self-injuring can help you see the world from his or her eyes.
- Don’t judge. Avoid judgmental comments and criticism—they’ll only make things worse. The first two tips will go a long way in helping you with this. Remember, the self-harming person already feels ashamed and alone.
- Offer support, not ultimatums. It’s only natural to want to help, but threats, punishments, and ultimatums are counterproductive. Express your concern and let the person know that you’re available whenever he or she wants to talk or needs support.
- Encourage communication. Encourage your loved one to express whatever he or she is feeling, even if it’s something you might be uncomfortable with. If the person hasn’t told you about the self-harm, bring up the subject in a caring, non-confrontational way: “I’ve noticed injuries on your body, and I want to understand what you’re going through.”
If the self-harmer is a family member, especially if it is your child, prepare yourself to address difficulties in the family. This is not about blame, but rather about learning ways of dealing with problems and communicating better that can help the whole family.
If you cut to express pain and intense emotions
- Paint, draw, or scribble on a big piece of paper with red ink or paint
- Express your feelings in a journal
- Compose a poem or song to say what you feel
- Write down any negative feelings and then rip the paper up
- Listen to music that expresses what you’re feeling
If you cut to calm and soothe yourself
- Take a bath or hot shower
- Pet or cuddle with a dog or cat
- Wrap yourself in a warm blanket
- Massage your neck, hands, and feet
- Listen to calming music
If you cut because you feel disconnected and numb
- Call a friend (you don’t have to talk about self-harm)
- Take a cold shower
- Hold an ice cube in the crook of your arm or leg
- Chew something with a very strong taste, like chili peppers, peppermint, or a grapefruit peel.
- Go online to a self-help website, chat room, or message board
If you cut to release tension or vent anger
- Exercise vigorously—run, dance, jump rope, or hit a punching bag
- Punch a cushion or mattress or scream into your pillow
- Squeeze a stress ball or squish Play-Doh or clay
- Rip something up (sheets of paper, a magazine)
- Make some noise (play an instrument, bang on pots and pans)
Substitutes for the cutting sensation
- Use a red felt tip pen to mark where you might usually cut
- Rub ice across your skin where you might usually cut
- Put rubber bands on wrists, arms, or legs and snap them instead of cutting or hitting
Source: The Mental Health Foundation, UK
Someone Loves You - Anti Bullying
No one deserves to feel like they can't be anything less than exactly who they are. It may feel like there's no escape now, but someone out there loves you.
Anti-Bullying Blog Music Video of the day: " Beautiful" by Christina Aguilera
Lyrics:
Don't look at me
Every day is so wonderful
And suddenly, it's hard to breathe
Now and then, I get insecure
From all the pain, I'm so ashamed
I am beautiful no matter what they say
Words can't bring me down
I am beautiful in every single way
Yes, words can't bring me down
Oh no, so don't you bring me down today
To all your friends, you're delirious
So consumed in all your doom
Trying hard to fill the emptiness
The pieces is gone left the puzzle undone
Is that the way it is
You are beautiful no matter what they say
Words can't bring you down, oh no
You are beautiful in every single way
Yes, words can't bring you down, oh no
So don't you bring me down today
No matter what we do
(no matter what we do)
No matter what they say
(no matter what they say)
We're the song inside the tune full of beautiful mistakes
And everywhere we go
(everywhere we go)
The will always shine
(sun will always shine)
But tomorrow we might awake
On the other side
We are beautiful no matter what they say
Yes, words won't bring us down, oh no
We are beautiful in every single way
Yes, words can't bring us down, oh no
So don't you bring me down today
Don't you bring me down today
Don't you bring me down today
STOP BULLYING NOW!!
I made this video because I felt that there are way to many cases of bullying being reported. These cases are mostly over the computer... Cases like these are known as cyber bullying. Cyber bullying is when you name call over computer or make the person feel down by any harassment. There are many other types of bullying like physical bullying, verbal bullying, social bullying etc. Bullying needs to stop! I personally was bullied for 1 year, then i stood up to the bully. I know how it feels to be bullied. Its the worst feeling ever. Its the feeling of not being wanted.. of not feeling belonged in this world... Please stop bullying now before you (the bully) become a killer. Many kids/people turn to suicidal because they think thats the only option that will solve the bullying issue. If you know anyone who's getting bullied talk to them, talk them into talking to a guidance counselor at school or their parents.. Do the right thing!
Pink - Perfect (AHMIR cover) - Anti-Bullying video
Teenagers and kids who are bullied often feel like they are all alone and have no where to turn. If you see someone being bullied, reach out and let them know it's going to be ok. Just being there for someone will give them hope and change their life more than you know. Take a stand against bullying. The world is better when we're all friends and not enemies.
Tuesday, February 28, 2012
Anti-Bullying Flashmob
In honour of International Anti-Bullying Day, two schools came together to create a message about Acceptance and challenge others to use social media as a positive tool. Choreographed by Jheric Hizon, Directed by Anita Perel-Panar - A Star Studio Productions
Sunday, February 26, 2012
Friday, February 24, 2012
Bully
A video collaboration for Bully Awareness Week, made with love for everyone big & small. Music and song by "Unbelievers" , Produced by "Illustrate iT Video", animators Michael and Matthew Huerto.
Bullying
Tempo InDepth explores the possible solutions to "bullying." The U.S. Department of Justice estimates every seven minutes a child is bullied at school and schools have gotten serious about putting an end to it.
We'll take you to an Easton middle school where everyone is getting involved to make a change and we'll meet a New Jersey boy who's using education to combat "bullying" for not just himself but others too.
"Mean Girls, Meaner Women"
In this segment on CNN's "American Morning" John Roberts speaks with Dr. Erika Holiday and Dr. Joan Rosenberg, co-authors of the book "Mean Girls, Meaner Women," about bullying and how girls and women frequently mistreat one another. In the wake of Phoebe Prince's tragic suicide, which has been linked to bullying, Holiday and Rosenberg talk about the role the social networking frequently plays in incidents of this kind and why girls and women are "hard-wired" to be mean and hurtful to one another. The authors also discuss how girls and women are taught to handle difficult emotions like anger and resentment in ways that naturally lead to bullying behavior, as seen in the film "Mean Girls." Finally, Drs. Holiday and Rosenberg talk about actions that schools, parents and communities can take to prevent tragedies like this in the future.
NBC Dateline - My Kid Would Never Bully
My Kid Would Never Bully is the Dateline special that examines the national epidemic of bullying. Bullying has become a growing problem in schools, leading to bad grades, poor attendance, and even self-destructive behavior like suicide.
Monday, February 20, 2012
Friday, February 17, 2012
Thursday, February 16, 2012
What to do when you're bullied
Bullying is a serious issue! Almost everyone experiences it at some point in their life and it can cause some very deep-rooted, personal issues and pain that last for the rest of your life!
In this video, several youth workers attempt to answer a teenager's question about bullying and how to respond to it. We help you understand why someone might bully someone else, give you some advice and practical tips on what to do when someone bullies you, and hopefully give some encouragement along the way.
If Your Child is Being Bullied
Kids can find all kinds of things bully-worthy about their peers; clothing, nationality, or even hobbies. While you can teach your own child principals and morals that do not involve bullying others, it’s hard to prevent others from bullying your child.
Fortunately, there are ways to deal with a bully in your child's life. If your child is dealing with a bully, below are tips from Bullying Expert Dr. Dorothy Espelage
What you can do:
Insist on a bully prevention plan or safety plan for your child
Call parents of bullies or bully group and arrange a meeting, if you can
Get your child involved in other activities to build confidence
If you have the means, get your child in therapy
What your child can do:
Get off of Formspring and other social networks
Tell, tell, tell! Talk to parents, and your support network
Keep record of all bully incidents
Manage your anger
Reach out to other kids in your school that are being bullied
Do not let the bullies know that they got to you
Role-play
Wednesday, February 15, 2012
Truth Is (Official Music Video) by Marcella Fruehan
I wrote this song to express my feelings in support of anti-bullying. As a 16 year old I see a lot going on around me; especially with bullying and the effects that it has on those who are bullied and what lengths teens will go to to "get away" from it all. I want you to know suicide is never the answer. Truth is...you are loved, you are not alone...you are never alone.
LYRICS:
Truth Is...
truth is, you were an outcast, lonely and pushed back, feeling so small
truth is, you were invisible, unnoticed and miserable, a fly on a wall
truth is, you never had much, reclusive and out of touch, nobody got you
truth is, you weren't even needed, always mistreated, black and blue
truth is, you couldn't handle it, no they just wouldn't quit, or leave you alone
truth is, confusion was setting in, knew that you couldn't win, out on your own
truth is, you tried to ignore it, but you couldn't forget, you're not that tough
truth is, the sticks and the stones, cut right to the bone, you had enough
====================================
take it all away, the pain that haunts
all the things you hate, it's just too much
all the lies and the shame, and the hurt and the blame
can't hold on no more
take it all away
====================================
truth is, the pressure was building, and your head was filling, with all of their lies
truth is, your heart was aching, insanity glazing over your eyes
truth is, you needed to stop it, just couldn't stop it, out of control
truth is, your world's turning black now, no turning back now, or saving your soul
truth is, your mind was racing, manic and pacing, ready to end it all
truth is, went to the closet, that's when you saw it, your father's gun
truth is, felt you were breaking, hands started shaking, metal so cold
truth is, you pulled that trigger, you didn't figure, you'd feel the bullet
====================================
take it all away, the pain that haunts
all the things you hate, it's just too much
take it all away, its all I want
all the things they say, it hurts too much
all the lies and the shame, and the hurt and the blame
can't hold on no more
take it all away
====================================
truth is, you weren't really hated, it's your friends that saved you, tackled you to the floor
truth is, the bullet it missed you, death only kissed you, letting you go
truth is, it wasn't worth it, life isn't perfect, despite what you think
truth is, you were loved, and no matter what, nobody wants you gone
© Marcella Fruehan
Lyrics: M Fruehan, J Goode, B Prakope
