Sunday, October 4, 2015

10 Things Bullies Don’t Want You to Know

  1. It’s not easy being a bully. It’s true! Imagine having to maintain your status as a bully. It means you have to continue bullying, and that can be exhausting.
  2. They’re desperately unhappy. Anyone who is truly happy would never have the desire to hurt others. Only unhappy people take out their frustrations on other people. Only unhappy people are mean. They’re miserable, so they want others to feel the same way.
  3. They’re insecure. Contrary to the popular notion that bullies have a superior attitude, deeper than that are feelings of insecurity and low self-esteem. Bullies pick on others because it takes the focus off of themselves and what they believe are their weaknesses.
  4. They’re envious of their victims. There’s something a victim has that a bully wants! Maybe the victim is prettier in the bully’s eyes, or smarter, or maybe the bully’s crush likes the victim. Or maybe the victim is confident or secure in her own skin—something the bully wishes she could be—and so the bully is jealous of that and wants to destroy that confidence. The bully doesn’t have it, so why should you?
  5. They’re trying to impress the cool kids. Or they want to be cool! When bullies bully, others laugh or follow along. And bullying can lead to popularity. It has to do with hierarchy, and ultimately goes back to #3: insecurity.
  6. They’re not strong. Think about it: Most bullies surround themselves with others. Strength is in numbers. If those people desert the bully, she loses her strength. She actually needs them.
  7. They want attention. Maybe they’re not getting attention at home. Maybe a parent is neglecting them. Maybe they can’t make friends the regular way. So a bully resorts to picking on others to get attention.
  8. They don’t want to be bullied. Bullies do not want to be bullied. Often, they become the bully so that they won’t be bullied. The big fear of a bully is meeting her match. What if the person she picks on fights back or makes her look bad? This is why she often has an entourage—for support.
  9. They are being bullied. Many bullies are actually being bullied somewhere else in their world. It could be their parents, siblings or other people they interact with on a regular basis.
  10. They’re afraid. Bullies are afraid of a lot of things. They’re afraid of being deserted by their peers. They’re afraid that people will learn that they’re not as strong as they act. They’re afraid that you’ll find out all of the above!

By The Bully Blog with 8 comments


So true. This really highlights bullying as a social problem. There is no winner when bullying is used strategically or as a coping mechanism, I strongly believe that communicating to those who suffer in a contemporary and realistic manner is essential and a solution.

It's a very good article. I would like to share it on FB. Is there a way?

This comment has been removed by the author.

Thank you so much.I am glad to visit your post.I got the information about Stop bullying.

Over the years, bullying has become worse because of all the social media. Technology has its benefits, but at the same time, in the teen world, it has a lot of negative repercussions. I had a good friend who I confided in and who would come to my house to hang out. Little did I know that the second we had an argument, she would use everything against me. Emma decided that she was going to Snap Chat an unflattering image of me from a time she was at my house. At the time, we were laughing, having fun, joking and having a great time. I never thought that she would ever betray me. However, she sent that picture to everyone with the hurtful words “too big to fit” (I was trying on clothes). The fact that a former friend could do this is one thing, but with social media the whole school saw it in a matter of seconds. We can’t keep hurting each other like this! We need to raise the awareness of bullying locally at schools, capture how rampant it is, and discuss what policies are in place or need to be. We need to do something to make a difference and try to protect other kids from this. I came across this website OpenNetReview ( which can help!
You can record your experience as multiple choice questions, indicating what matters most to you and participate in a discussion forum specific to your school or district, this way you can be involved with trying to make a change. This is a great place for this discussion to continue. We need to encourage more people to go to this site because by answering the following questions about bullying, this will help record what is happening and start the discussion of what we can do to help. This site is a way to better help school districts and advance our education system on this topic.
- Teacher Category: How many students report bullying to a teacher? 3 or more, 2-3, 1-2, 1 or less
- Student Category: How many of your friends have been bullied? 6 or more, 5-6, 4-5, 3-4, 2-3, 1-2, 1 or less
- School category: Are there consequences for students who bully? No, Yes

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