Many people think that bullying is a normal part of childhood or that "kids will be kids." However, research shows that in fact, bullying can cause negative academic, physical, social, emotional, and psychological consequences on victims, bullies, and witnesses. These consequences can be short-term or long-term. Bullying can also greatly affect the overall climate of a school.
Victims
First of all, as a result of being bullied, victims may experience many immediate mental or physical health-related consequences. Studies show that victims have more anxiety, sadness, sleep difficulties, low self-esteem, headaches, stomach pain, and general tension than their peers who are not being bullied. Researchers from Finland discovered that victims are more likely than bullies to suffer from anxiety disorders, such as depression, separation anxiety, panic disorder, etc. Also, this psychological stress can cause victims' bodies to be less resistant to disease and infection, and therefore they may get sick more often.
In the social area, victims have few friends or none at all. Due to their high anxiety level and low self-worth, it is very hard for them to make friends. This leads to feelings of isolation and believing that they are not even worthy of having friends. Also, other kids often do not want to become friends with the victims, because they are afraid that they will be bullied as well. Another reason that other kids do not hang around with victims is because they worry that peers will not like them if they associate with the victims.
Feelings of loneliness and sadness on the part of victims can also lead to consequences related to their learning and school success. Being a victim can result in poor school attendance, because many victims become afraid of going to school. They are also scared of riding the school bus or using the bathroom at school. One study found that 8% of 8th graders in the U.S. miss at least one day of school per month for fear of bullies. Victims often receive lower grades due to attendance problems, and also due to their stress and worry. They become obsessed with the bullying and how to try to avoid it. This leaves little or no time, energy, or concern for schoolwork and learning. A vicious cycle can occur because the victim's poor school performance can lead to embarrassment and anxiety, which can
in turn cause them to be picked on even more.
Another possible result of being bullied is that victims may become violent, either at the time of the bullying or in their futures. This violent behavior may be directed toward themselves, toward their school in general, or may even be directed as retaliation toward the bullies themselves. Sometimes the violent behavior can lead to even more bullying towards the victim, as the bullies want revenge on the victim for bullying them.
Some experts believe that school shootings are related to bullying. Students who committed school shootings were over two times as likely to have reported that they were victims of bullying.
As mentioned earlier, victims are more likely to suffer from anxiety disorders and depression, and these disorders can continue into adulthood. Sometimes the disorders can also cause difficulties with the victims' family, friends, and co-workers in their futures.
In some cases, the bullying may be so severe and may go on for so long that the victim has thoughts of suicide, (which is also called suicidal ideation), or he or she may actually commit suicide. Victims are also more likely to have attempted suicide than their non-bullied peers. The term "bullycide" is used to describe a victim's suicide that occurs due to extreme bullying behavior by a bully toward that victim.
The following poem (from the 4 Troubled Teens website) shows the sadness and desperation on the part of a 13 year old boy in Manchester, England who hung himself as a result of serious bullying:
I shall remember forever and will never forget
Monday: My money taken
Tuesday: Names called
Wednesday: My uniform torn
Thursday: My body pouring with blood
Friday: It's ended Saturday: Freedom |
Bullies
Children who bully others also experience many short term and long term consequences of their bullying behavior. They are more likely to get involved in other harmful activities, both as a child and as an adult. While they are still young, they may steal or vandalize property, start or join in on physical fights, become injured in a fight, skip school, carry a weapon in order to scare others, or use alcohol and other drugs. They are also five times more likely to be taken to criminal court and to be found guilty of a crime than are their peers who do not participate in bullying behavior.
Most bullies do not just "outgrow" their bullying behaviors when they get older. Instead, the aggressive behavior continues into adulthood. A study conducted by psychologist Dan Olweus of Norway found that 60% of students in Scandinavian countries who were classified as bullies in 6th through 9th grade had one or more incidents of being convicted of a crime by the time they were 24 years old. Also, these bullies were four or more times as likely as nonbullies to be involved in numerous convictions of crimes. Another study showed that by the time they were 30 years old, one out of 4 bullies had a criminal record.
The bullies' need for power tends to carry on into their grownup years. As adults, these bullies misuse this power by becoming involved in sexual and racial harassment, child abuse, domestic violence, etc. Their need for power can also show up in how they parent their own children. In turn, their children may even bully other children in the future.
Remember how a researcher from Finland found that victims were more likely to develop anxiety disorders than bullies were? That same researcher discovered that bullies were more likely to have an antisocial personality disorder as opposed to anxiety disorders. An antisocial personality disorder involves a long-term disregard for others, delinquent behavior, violence, aggression, and violation of the rights of others. In other words, since bullies do not learn appropriate social skills when they are young, they grow up to be antisocial adults. They will have poor relationships with others, including family members, friends, co-workers, etc.
Finally victims aren't the only ones who may become depressed, think about suicide, or carry out suicide; in some cases, the same can be true for bullies.
Witnesses
There are also consequences for children who are bystanders or witnesses to bullying. They suffer from frustration, fear, low self-esteem, and a loss of control. They may also feel a huge sense of guilt about the bullying they witness, especially if they do not "S.A.V.E." the victim and the bullying continues. Sometimes their guilt is too much for them to accept. In these cases, the witnesses may go from empathizing with the victim to later thinking that the bullying is acceptable. This is their way of preventing themselves from feeling more guilt in the future; they will simply not even recognize that someone is being hurt.
Witnesses also develop a lot of anxiety and stress. They worry that they will also become a victim and therefore their feelings of safety and security at school decrease. This leads to negative feelings toward school, which can also contribute to problems with learning and achievement.
After reading about the effects of bullying on bullies, victims, and bystanders, do you think it makes sense to say, "Kids will be kids?" We don't! We think that the research about the consequences of bullying really shows that we must all do everything we can to prevent childhood bullying. Be a H.E.R.O. in your school, neighborhood and community: Help Everyone Respect Others!
Chris Rock isn’t afraid to hand out the insults these days, but back in school, he was often the target. As the only black kid in a New York City School, Rock stood out, and was frequently bullied and beaten up. According to Rock, he “got beat up just about every day. I got called n**ger every single day. I got kicked and whatever.” In fact, his experience in school was so bad, he is the subject of a true-to-life sitcom, Everybody Hates Chris, which chronicles his often painful experiences growing up in NYC. Not everyone gets an outlet like TV to share their bullying experiences, but Rock has cathartically benefited from the show: one of his former teachers sent an apology letter to him after seeing the previews, saying, “I knew it was hard on you, but I had no idea. If anything happened to you because of me, please forgive me.”
As one of the most beautiful and talented women in Hollywood, it’s hard to believe that anyone would pick on Oscar winner Kate Winslet about her looks, but it’s true. Growing up, Winslet was bullied and teased for being chubby. Her nickname at school was Blubber, and she was once even locked in the art cupboard. And although she is now adored by many worldwide, girls at school told her that no one would ever “fancy” her. Winslet may have grown out of her young awkwardness, but she has not yet shed the painful words of her youth. She says that she still feels like “the fat schoolgirl” and even now doesn’t “consider [herself] some kind of great, sexy beauty, acknowledging that magazine covers are retouched, and she’s greatly helped in films by hair, makeup, and lighting.Although Miley Cyrus seems to be quite popular as a teen, her pre-teen (and pre-fame) years in Tennessee were a completely different experience. At school, there was an “Anti-Miley Club” full of “big, tough girls” who were “fully capable of doing [her] bodily harm” and went above and beyond in their bullying pursuit. Cyrus was once locked in a bathroom during class: “They shoved me in. I was trapped. I banged on the door until my fists hurt. Nobody came.” Other incidents included challenging Cyrus to a fight, which only ended when the principal stepped in. And when Cyrus wasn’t being physically abused, she was being teased, with classmates telling her, “Your dad’s a one-hit wonder. You’ll never amount to anything — just like him.” Fortunately for her, Cyrus did not listen to nay-sayers, scoring the role of “Hannah Montana” and a ticket to fame and fortune.
Sir Ranulph Fiennes is known as the world’s greatest living explorer, and he has the Guinness Book of World Recordstitle to prove it. But before he scaled the summit of Mount Everest — at the age of 65, no less — he had to face a different kind of challenge: bullies at Eton College. Growing up, Fiennes was an “attractive boy,” and at the time, it was considered normal to tease pretty boys. And tease they did, taunting Fiennes with whistles and shouts of “tart, tart,” an experience he recalls as “remorseless nastiness” that nearly drove him to suicide. But Fiennes survived bullies, much as he has survived so much else: a career in the British army, discovering the lost city of Ubar in Oman, performing a self-amputation of his necrotic fingertips, and even completing the Land Rover 7x7x7 Challenge for the British Heart Foundation, which included completing seven marathons in seven days on seven continents, just four months after suffering a heart attack and double heart bypass surgery. And his “pretty boy” attractiveness worked for him in a positive way: Fiennes was one of the final six contenders for the role of James Bond.
President Bill Clinton was once the leader of the free world, but this iconic politician came from humble beginnings. As a junior high schooler, he was picked on relentlessly for being a “fat band boy” with bad taste in clothes. Their taunting culminated in an incident at a junior high dance: one older student teased Clinton about his carpenter’s jeans, and even hit Clinton in the jaw. But Clinton did not give the bully what he wanted, choosing to stand his ground rather than fight back or back down. Clinton shares in his memoir,My Life, “I had learned that I could take a hit and that there’s more than one way to stand against aggression.” He survived the incident, and his status as a band geek paid off, with Clinton becoming a talented and celebrated saxophone player in addition to his life in public service.
Few people who were bullied ever get a chance at revenge, though we’re sure they do fantasize about it. Winona Ryder is one of the lucky few who have been able to get back at a bully, even in the smallest of ways. Although she is a popular actress, she was beaten up and taunted in middle school by students who said she looked like a boy. Ryder recalls, “I was wearing an old Salvation Army shop boy’s suit. As I went to the bathroom I heard people saying, ‘Hey, faggot’. They slammed my head into a locker. I fell to the ground and they started to kick the s**t out of me. I had to have stitches. The school kicked me out, not the bullies.” Although Ryder remembers the incident clearly, one of her bullies conveniently forgot when, years later, she ran into her at a coffee shop and asked Ryder for an autograph. Apparently, Ryder did not forgive or forget, responding, “‘Do you remember me? Remember in seventh grade you beat up that kid?’ And she said, ‘Kind of’. And I said, ‘That was me. Go f*** yourself.’” Although it’s best to forgive your bullies and move on, we’re hoping that Ryder was able to enjoy her cathartic revenge.
In 2008, Michael Phelps earned respect worldwide for his performance at the Beijing Olympic Games, as he earned the title of greatest Olympian ever with his all-time record for most individual gold Olympic medals, a total of nine. And although he has been called “amazing,” “incredible,” and even “Sportsman of the Year,” Phelps was branded with much different terms as a kid. He was taunted for his “sticky-out ears” and lisp, as well as his long arms, which ultimately took him to greatness. It seems that the taunting Phelps experienced encouraged his greatness as well, with coach Bob Bowman reporting, “Michael is the motivation machine — bad moods, good moods, he channels everything for gain.” Including, we presume, childhood taunting. Phelps is apparently able to take any adversity and turn it into a reason to train harder, going so far as to train during Christmas. His story is one of particular inspiration to bullied kids everywhere, showing that you can not only survive taunting, but turn it into motivation to be amazing.
Most people imagine that the life of a prince is quite privileged and pleasant, and although we’re sure Prince Harry has his fair share of royal privileges, he’s also gotten more than his fair share of taunting. The reason? His red hair. Although in America, red hair does not carry a stigma, in the UK, “gingers” like Harry are picked on for their colored hair and fair skin. Harry’s army pals frequently call him the “Ginger Bullet Magnet,” and have joked that they would buy ginger wigs to wear in Iraq, presumably to prevent insurgents from identifying the young prince. Harry’s girlfriend, however has a more flattering nickname: “Big Ginger.” However, Harry’s hair hasn’t kept him from success, as he is currently a captain in the Army Air Corps, with honorary military appointments in the Royal Navy and the Royal Air Force. Prince Henry is also philanthropically active, acting as patron of several charity organizations, including Sentebale, a charity he co-founded to support orphans and vulnerable children in Lesotho.
Bullying doesn’t just happen in grade school, and even the rich and famous take hits now and then. Emma Watson, one of the stars of Harry Potter, is the unfortunate proof of that. This year, Watson dropped out of Brown University, claiming that she wanted to focus on her acting career, but it is widely believed that she left due to bullying. According to fellow students, Watson was frequently mocked in classes, with students chiming in, “Three points for Gryffindor!” and other taunts when she answered questions in classes. But Watson has decided to give school another go, announcing that she will be taking part in an exchange program with Worcester College, Oxford, and completing her studies at Brown University.
Eva Mendes is one of Hollywood’s leading ladies, but as a young girl, she suffered attacks from bullies. She explains, “I was a gawky, skinny girl with big teeth and that made me an easy target. I had two bullies and they tortured me all through junior high school.” And although they made her miserable at school, eventually, she found the courage she needed to push back against them. “Only later could I see that I was showing them my fear and that’s what they were pouncing on.” Mendes recalls, “When I finally stood up to my bully, that’s when things changed for me,” and she encourages those who are being bullied to stand up for themselves as well. Although Mendes is proud that she showed courage and fought back against her bullies, she does think they left their mark: “I’m sure those experiences explain why I’ve been so anxiety-ridden in my adult life.”
Emma Watson isn’t the only one who has been ostracized for her fame and success: Christina Aguilera experienced bullying in school from kids who did not understand her love of performing. Aguilera has been in the spotlight since age six, and her childhood was anything but common. So while she was performing shows at night, the other kids at school were just trying to win their next soccer game and keep up with homework. Aguilera shares, “I would get a lot of cold shoulders because there was just no way they could relate to what I loved to do. You know, it’s not really normal for a child to just want to be in front of the camera and on stage … You know, it was hard for me to relate to other kids because I didn’t have the same interests.” The bullying and isolation got so bad that the tires on Aguilera’s family car were slashed, and they moved. But once she joined the Mickey Mouse Club, she enjoyed being with other kids who also enjoyed performing, and since then, Aguilera has seemed to leave her bullies behind, although she certainly seems to get beat up by the tabloids.
Jessica Simpson is another star who still deals with bullies in the media, but unfortunately, tabloids were not the first to get a crack at her. Simpson seemed to be popular in school, as a homecoming queen and cheerleader, but she reports that she was a victim of the school’s mean girl group: “I had girls egging my home, writing curse words on the sidewalk in paint — just saying really nasty things about me.” It got so bad that, sadly, she quit cheerleading, but the star credits her unfortunate youthful experiences with helping her as a high profile celebrity, learning how to deal with constant scrutiny from the media. “I grew up in that fishbowl of always being judged and watched. I really do believe that was God preparing me for the life I’m living now.”
As a celebrated Hollywood sex symbol, it’s hard to imagine an unattractive, bullied Jessica Alba growing up. But the star insists that it’s true, and that she had a terrible time fitting in at school. Her family didn’t have as much money as others in her class, she had a Texan accent, and buck teeth. She was deemed uncool, and frequently attacked for being different. Alba spent her lunches in the nurses’ office for solitude and safety, and her dad had to walk her to school so that she wouldn’t be provoked. She never fought back, not wanting to lower herself to the level of her bullies, but she did find an outlet for her frustration and fear: acting classes. Alba recalls, “The idea that for an hour I could be someone different was amazing. I was determined that this was something I was going to be good at. This was a part of my life no bully could ruin.” She says that her lessons at drama school “changed everything” and sparked a lifelong love of acting. Alba encourages others who have been bullied to use fear as fuel: “You have to make it push you to become a stronger person, in whatever way that may be.”
Sandra Bullock is both beautiful and stylish, not to mention talented, but back in school, her style wasn’t exactly appreciated. The actress’ mother was a German opera singer who would bring home European clothes for the young Bullock to wear, which the other kids thought were frumpy. Bullock also suffered from a lisp, which only added to the fire. But the star made it through her bully troubles, and she credits her mother with giving her the confidence to do so, remarking, “Uniqueness was something my mother pounded into me. I’ve made peace with the fact that the things that I thought were weaknesses or flaws were just me. I like them.” She encourages girls who are going through trouble to persevere, even in the face of bullies: “Don’t change. Be who you are.”
Tom Cruise, the star of Top Gun and Mission Impossible is beloved for his talent and looks worldwide, but as a kid, he wasn’t so appreciated. Cruise’s childhood was spent on the move, as his father constantly uprooted the family to find a new source of work and support the family. As a result, he was always establishing himself over and over again at new schools: “I was always the new kid with the wrong shoes, the wrong accent. I didn’t have the friend to share things with and confide in.” And at each school, he faced the fresh experience over and over again. He was small for his age and easily pushed around. Eventually, he learned to stand up for himself, but at every new school, he had to fight over and over again. “Your heart’s pounding, you sweat, and you feel like you’re going to vomit. I’m not the biggest guy, I never liked hitting someone, but I know if I don’t hit that guy hard he’s going to pick on me all year. I go, ‘You better fight.’ I just laid it down. I don’t like bullies.” Cruise found strength and inspiration in his mother, who he says, “rose to the occasion,” supporting the family on her own with three jobs. Once seeing her success, Cruise turned a corner, deciding, “I’m going to create, for myself, who I am, not what other people say I should be.”
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