A Quick List to What is Bullying and Harassment?

Bullying is the conscious desire to hurt, exclude, or put some one else down to make you feel better. Bullying can be in looks, actions or words. Bullying is not a joke. It is unacceptable. Each student has the right to feel safe, happy, and wanted.
 
BULLYING COULD INCLUDE:
   • Being ignored constantly.
   • Being excluded from the group.
   • Having rumors spread about you.
   • Being made fun of.
YOU ARE HELPING A BULLY BY: 
  • Providing an audience.
  • Not supporting someone who is being bullied.
  • Passing on harassing notes.
  • Passing on rumors.
  • Laughing at a bully's actions.
ARE YOU BEING BULLIED OR HARASSED?
WHAT CAN YOU DO? POSITIVE STRATEGIES TO HELP COUNTER BULLYING... 
  • Be assertive. Explain to the bully how you feel.
  • Discuss it with friends. Get help from them.
  • Consider your behavior.
  • Avoid situations which lead to bullying.
  • Ignore it. Don't let the bully know that you are upset.
  • Go to peer mediation.
  • Go to the school Counselor.
  • Talk to a trusted person.
  • Tell your Co-ordinator/Counselor.
  • Talk to your parents.
  • Remember--It's OK to let someone know what's happening!!!
VISIT BULLYING CANADA WEBSITE -- The website has been created by youth for youth from across the Country (Canada)! They are all fully non - paid volunteers and donate many hours a week to the website.
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WHY DON'T YOUNG PEOPLE TELL ADULTS? (About being bullied?) 

1. They are ashamed of being bullied
2. They are afraid of retaliation
3. They don't think anyone CAN help them
4. They don't think anyone WILL help them
5. They've bought into the lie that bullying is a necessary part of growing up
6. Thy might believe that adults are part of the lie--they bully too
7. They have learned that "ratting" on a peer is bad, not cool

  • Students typically feel that adult intervention is infrequent and ineffective and that telling adults will only bring more harassment from bullies.
  • Students are also reluctant to tell teachers or school staff as many adults view bullying as a harmless rite of passage that is best ignored-- unless verbal and psychological intimidation crosses the line into physical assault or theft.
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 HERE'S HOW THE SCHOOL CAN HELP ... 
  • Provide a reporting method.
  • Provide counseling.
  • Give advice on how to handle the situation.
  • Arrange peer mediation.
  • Keep confidentiality if requested.
  • Listen sympathetically and carefully and take your problem seriously.
  • Support you.
  • Investigate all incidents.
  • Bring both the victim and the bully together for conflict resolution. 

ALL BULLYING AND HARASSMENT WILL BE TAKEN SERIOUSLY
• The social context and supervision at school has been shown to play a MAJOR PART in the frequency and severity of bullying problems. While teachers and administrators do not have control over individual and family factors which produce children who are inclined to bully, bullying problems can be greatly reduced in severity by appropriate supervision, intervention and climate in a school. 
 • Supervision of children has been found to be of prime importance. Just as low levels of supervision in the home are associated with the development of bully problems in individual children, so are low levels of supervision at school, particularly on the PLAYGROUND, SCHOOLYARD, and in the HALLWAYS. 
• The social climate in the school needs to be one where there is WARMTH AND ACCEPTANCE OF ALL STUDENTS, and one where there are high standards for student and teacher behavior toward one another. TEACHER ATTITUDES toward aggression, and skills with supervision and intervention, partly determine how teachers will react to bullying situations. Curricula, administrative policies, and support are also very important.
FOUR EASY WAY TO DEAL WITH BULLIES IN THE CLASSROOM OR PROGRAM... 

• OBSERVE: Quietly watch students as they interact during free time.
• ASK: An anonymous survey can reveal when and where bullying occurs.
• EDUCATE: Teach students what bullying is and the damage it can cause.
• ENFORCE: Hold bullies accountable for their actions with fair consequences

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 If your school has anti-bullying activities-join them and take part. If they don't--start some of your own. Some schools and programs have taken the following measures to help youth:

Unite with other communities  with PACER...It takes a community to prevent bullying of children. Annual National Bullying Prevention Awareness Week, each October, encourages communities nationwide to work together to increase awareness of the prevalence and impact of bullying on all children.
Families, students, schools, organizations and other groups can unite with PACER to prevent bullying in several ways. Activities and materials such as contests, toolkits, and online bullying prevention training are available on to help reduce bullying in schools, recreational programs, and community organizations. PACER has designed free web sites, downloadable activities and helpful information for teachers, administrators, parents and community organization to engage and educate children about bullying prevention in grades K- 5.
There are resources designed for teens, teachers, administrators, and parents and other professionals to engage, empower and educate students, schools and communities about bullying prevention for middle and high school students.
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GOOD IDEAS SOME SCHOOLS HAVE STARTED:
1. BULLY BOXES...
Kids can put notes in the box if they are too worried to tell someone. If your school has boxes like these use them wisely. Advise the kids to always make sure that anything they write about is the truth.
2. SET UP A BUDDY-SYSTEM... Older students can sometimes volunteer to help new or younger students coming into the school or your program by getting to know them.
3. SPECIALS CAMPAIGNS such as a "no-bullying day" can be a big help.
4. COUNSELING is a good way of talking to someone.
Can you have someone come in and talk about Kids who are being bullied, or who are bullying others? Some schools have set up PEER COUNSELING where kids volunteer to learn how to help other kids.
 
5. MEDIATION
Some schools and programs have introduced mediation where two people who disagree about something agree that a third person, either an adult of another student, HELPS to find a solution to a problem. This can be helpful in many situations, but not in all cases of bullying...
A bully may refuse to take part because they have no interest in ending the bullying. A victim may feel that a negotiated solution is not fair when it is the other person who is completely in the wrong.
6. Taking part in PLAYS AND OTHER DRAMA ACTIVITES can help people to understand what it feels like to be bullied and to think about what they can do to stop it. This is something that SAC programs can facilitate.
7. PEER SUPPORT where older students volunteer to discuss things such as bullying, friendship, or drugs with groups of younger students.

POSSIBLE CONSEQUENCES FOR BULLIES...   • Counseling.
  • Confronting the Bully with the victim.
  • Have the bully listen to the victim's hurt.
  • Initiate peer mediation with the victim .
  • Contact parents/guardians.
  • Insist on and monitor a behavior contract.
  • Take away privileges.
  • Suspend Bully from school.
  • Ask Bully to leave the school.
  • Take legal action. If you are bullied or harassed you CAN do something about it!

8. PRACTICE... Tip From Barb Shelby There are several good ideas in this category; many of them will give you information and activities to help derail Bullying. When you come right down to it (After you read and get ideas for what to do) rather than spending a lot of time discussing problems, have children actually PRACTICE WHAT TO DO to prevent or stop those problems.

• THIS MEANS...teach children skills and give them the words and tools to handle conflicts, bullying and challenges. Have children practice. Practice with their voices and with their bodies and non-verbal communication. Coach them to experience success.

• As far as challenges in your program? Don't allow it. Build a strong "Program Community" where the kids connect and feel good about themselves and their group. Some of the posts in the "Connecting & Feeling Good Category" may help with this.

9.  To initiate a discussion with chidren, USE MESSAGE BOOKS as learning tools! Stories are a great way for children to learn what other children are doing in similar situations.

There are "Bully Theme and  Message Book suggestions" for children  posted on this site. There is also a list for adults with Anti-Bully and Conflict Resolution Themes.
10. In sharing  bullying prevention strategies in School Age Notes, Nancy Mullin proposed providing activities that promote self-confidence, build self-control and resilience, and foster community connections among children...
• Bullied children benefit from participating in a wide range of activities that help them develop common interests with peers, hone friendship-making skills, and build relationships.
• Children who tend to be easily left out because they lack social graces or have difficulty reading social signals need guidance to practice pleasant ways of entering play, making conversation, and "understanding" the nuances of give-and-take relationships.
• Form friendship circles to provide isolated youth with social supports. Children who tend to bully others benefit from opportunities to practice self-control, perspective taking, prosocial behavior, and positive ways to engage their peers. Offering cooperative alternatives to competitive games can also help reduce aggression."

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