Monday, October 31, 2011

Six Bullying Prevention Tips for Principals

Marge Meyers is the General Studies Principal of Milwaukee Jewish Day School in Wisconsin. When she and her colleagues began implementing the STEPS TO RESPECT program, she learned a lot about schoolwide bullying prevention. Here is what she had to say about her responsibilities as a principal.
1. Acknowledge the problem.
“First and foremost, the principal’s role in bullying prevention is to acknowledge that bullying exists,” says Meyers.

2. Address the problem.
“Then you have to commit to addressing it, and in our case, this meant meeting with our teachers, counseling staff, and school nurse to have an open and honest discussion about bullying behaviors in our school,” Meyers explains. “We started really trying to watch the interactions of students, especially during less structured times.”

3. Set the policy.
“A principal is in a unique position to set policy in a school,” says Meyers. “Research will tell you that any bullying prevention program has to be schoolwide in order to have an effect. But in order to do this right, time and dollars need to be allocated, and the principal is definitely in the position to be able to do that.”

4. Get teacher buy-in.
“Because bullying is a schoolwide issue, it means there has to be schoolwide leadership to address it, and every member of the staff needs to be part of the solution,” Meyers maintains. “I think it’s ultimately the leadership’s responsibility to see that all staff adhere to the policy and buy into a bullying prevention program.”

5. Get parent buy-in.
Meyers elaborates: “It’s important that I know what’s going on in the school and that I can, in absolute good faith and good conscience, tell parents, 'STEPS TO RESPECT' is an incredible program, and here’s why.’”

6. Get your hands dirty.
“I feel bullying is a very important issue to our children, and as a teacher, I felt very strongly about setting an example,” Meyers concludes. “As an administrator, I have that same sort of mindset. I don’t ask anyone to do anything that I myself don’t do. I took part in training, and I’ve made time in my schedule to teach it in the classroom. It’s that important.”

By The Bully Blog with No comments

Friday, October 28, 2011

Bullying prevention: A proactive curriculum

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Wednesday, October 26, 2011

Recognizing the Warning Signs

There are many warning signs that could indicate that someone is involved in bullying, either by bullying others or by being bullied. However, these warning signs may indicate other issues or problems, as well. If you are a parent or educator, learn more about talking to someone about bullying.
Being Bullied

* Comes home with damaged or missing clothing or other belongings
* Reports losing items such as books, electronics, clothing, or jewelry
* Has unexplained injuries
* Complains frequently of headaches, stomachaches, or feeling sick
* Has trouble sleeping or has frequent bad dreams
* Has changes in eating habits
* Hurts themselves
* Are very hungry after school from not eating their lunch
* Runs away from home
* Loses interest in visiting or talking with friends
* Is afraid of going to school or other activities with peers
* Loses interest in school work or begins to do poorly in school
* Appears sad, moody, angry, anxious or depressed when they come home
* Talks about suicide
* Feels helpless
* Often feels like they are not good enough
* Blames themselves for their problems
* Suddenly has fewer friends
* Avoids certain places
* Acts differently than usual

Bullying Others

* Becomes violent with others
* Gets into physical or verbal fights with others
* Gets sent to the principal’s office or detention a lot
* Has extra money or new belongings that cannot be explained
* Is quick to blame others
* Will not accept responsibility for their actions
* Has friends who bully others
* Needs to win or be best at everything

By The Bully Blog with No comments

Monday, October 24, 2011

Talent Show - Cyberbullying Prevention Commercial

By The Bully Blog with 3 comments

Saturday, October 22, 2011

Teens and Violence Prevention Tips

Parents and others who care for young people can help them learn to deal with emotions without using violence. Because violence results from conflicts between people, it can be prevented by learning nonviolent ways to control anger and solve problems. Teaching your teen, through words and actions, that violence is never an acceptable form of behavior is very important. The tips provided here can help you.

Quick Facts


  • Almost 16 million teens have witnessed some form of violent assault.
  • About one in eight people murdered in the United States each year are younger than 18 years of age.
  • Research shows a link between violent television programs and aggressive behavior in teens who watch those programs.
  • Most injuries and violent deaths occur between people who know each other.
  • If there is violence in your family, it increases the risk of your teen becoming involved in future violence.
  • A gun in the home is more likely to be used to kill a family member or friend than to kill an intruder.

 

Tips for Parents


  1. Start talking about ways to reduce or eliminate violence.
    • Team up with other parents and get involved in your community; join your neighbors in activities to reduce violence.
    • Talk to your teen about ways to solve arguments and fights without weapons or violence.
    • Advise your teen to talk to you or a trusted adult to avoid potentially violent situations.
    • If you suspect a problem with your teen, start talking about it.
  2. Monitor the media.
    • Limit the amount of television your teen watches to 1 to 2 hours a day (including music videos and video games).
    • Do not allow your teen to watch violent movies or TV programs.
    • If something violent comes on the TV, talk about what is wrong with the program and how the situation could have been handled in a nonviolent way.
  3. Be a role model by handling problems in nonviolent ways.
    • Don't hit your teen. Model non-physical solutions to problem solving.
    • Count to 10. Cool off. If you can't control your anger, tell your teen you need some time to get your thoughts and feelings under control.
    • Problem solve with your teen. Think together about options and consequences for behaviors.
    • Set limits, make sure your teen knows the rules and consequences, and follow through.
    • Don't carry a gun. This sends a message to your teen that using guns solves problems.
  4. Reduce the threat of gun-related violence to your teen.
    • Make certain your teen does not have access to guns. If you have a gun, remove it from your home or store it unloaded and locked up. Lock and store bullets separately.
    • Tell your teen to stay away from potentially dangerous situations and from guns in homes of friends or places where he or she may visit or play.
    • Keep in mind that teens don't always follow the rules. Also, teens are attracted to guns and see guns as symbols of power. Since you can't always count on teens to stay away from guns, you have to keep guns away from them.
  5. Help your teen deal with anger.
    • Anger is a normal feeling. Anger does not have to be bad if it is expressed appropriately. Teach your teen that it is okay to be angry, but it's not okay to throw a punch.
    • People must control their anger before they can control a situation.
    • Sometimes counseling is necessary to help teens deal with their anger appropriately.

 

Steps your teen can take to avoid violence or injury


  1. Recognize situations or events that are likely to escalate into violence.
  2. Stop whatever you are doing and count to 10 backward. This will help you think about your feelings before they get out of control.
  3. If you can't control your anger, get away. Take a time out.
  4. Think about the options and consequences of your actions. For example, hitting someone could result in suspension from school or injury.
  5. If necessary, get help from a third party to solve differences.
  6. Cool off. Make sure you are calm and then talk to the person.
  7. Listen carefully to the other person's opinion.
  8. Be assertive, not aggressive. Stand up for your ideals. Begin every sentence with "I" For example: "I feel this way..." or "I don't like it when..."
  9. Be willing to admit and be responsible for something you may have done wrong.
  10. Respond with your HEAD, not your fists, threats, or weapons.

By The Bully Blog with No comments

Thursday, October 20, 2011

Preventing Cyberbullying Top Ten Tips for Parents

Sameer Hinduja, Ph.D. and Justin W. Patchin, Ph.D.
Cyberbullying Research Center

1. Establish that all rules for interacting with
people in real life also apply for interacting
online or through cell phones. Convey that
cyberbullying inflicts harm and causes pain in the
real world as well as in cyberspace.
2. Make sure your school has Internet Safety
educational programming in place. This should not
solely cover the threat of sexual predators, but also
how to prevent and respond to online peer
harassment, interact wisely through social
networking sites, and engage in responsible and
ethical online communications.
3. Educate your children about appropriate
Internet‐based behaviors. Explain to them the
problems that can be created when technology is
misused (e.g., damaging their reputation, getting in
trouble at school or with the police).
4. Model appropriate technology usage. Don't
harass or joke about others while online, especially
around your children. Don't text while driving. Your
kids are watching and learning.
5. Monitor your child's activities while they are
online. This can be done informally (through active
participation in, and supervision of, your child’s
online experience) and formally (through software).
Use discretion when covertly spying on your kids.
This could cause more harm than good if your child
feels their privacy has been violated. They may go
completely underground with their online behaviors
and deliberately work to hide their actions from you.
6. Use filtering and blocking software as a part of
a *comprehensive* approach to online safety, but
understand software programs *alone* will not keep
kids safe or prevent them from bullying others or
accessing inappropriate content. Most tech‐savvy
youth can figure out ways around filters very quickly.
7. Look for warning signs that something
abnormal is going on with respect to their technology
usage. If your child becomes withdrawn or their
Internet use becomes obsessive, they could either be
a victim or a perpetrator of cyberbullying.
8. Utilize an “Internet Use Contract” and a “Cell
Phone Use Contract” to foster a crystal‐clear
understanding about what is appropriate and what is
not with respect to the use of communications
technology. To remind the child of this pledged
commitment, we recommend that these contracts be
posted in a highly visible place (e.g., next to the
computer).
9. Cultivate and maintain an open, candid line of
communication with your children, so that they are
ready and willing to come to you whenever they
experience something unpleasant or distressing in
cyberspace. Victims of cyberbullying (and the
bystanders who observe it) must know for sure that
the adults who they tell will intervene rationally and
logically, and not make the situation worse.
10. Teach and reinforce positive morals and
values about how others should be treated with
respect and dignity.

By The Bully Blog with No comments

Monday, October 17, 2011

Bullying: Prevention and Tips

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Saturday, October 15, 2011

STEP UP! Bully Prevention Video

A video that shows grade school students talking about bullying and what steps to take to prevent it. Then they pledge to keep themselves and their school bully free.



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Thursday, October 13, 2011

A Quick List to What is Bullying and Harassment?

Bullying is the conscious desire to hurt, exclude, or put some one else down to make you feel better. Bullying can be in looks, actions or words. Bullying is not a joke. It is unacceptable. Each student has the right to feel safe, happy, and wanted.
 
BULLYING COULD INCLUDE:
   • Being ignored constantly.
   • Being excluded from the group.
   • Having rumors spread about you.
   • Being made fun of.

YOU ARE HELPING A BULLY BY: 
 Providing an audience.
  • Not supporting someone who is being bullied.
  • Passing on harassing notes.
  • Passing on rumors.
  • Laughing at a bully's actions.

ARE YOU BEING BULLIED OR HARASSED?
WHAT CAN YOU DO? POSITIVE STRATEGIES TO HELP COUNTER BULLYING... 

  • Be assertive. Explain to the bully how you feel.
  • Discuss it with friends. Get help from them.
  • Consider your behavior.
  • Avoid situations which lead to bullying.
  • Ignore it. Don't let the bully know that you are upset.
  • Go to peer mediation.
  • Go to the school Counselor.
  • Talk to a trusted person.
  • Tell your Co-ordinator/Counselor.
  • Talk to your parents.
  • Remember--It's OK to let someone know what's happening!!!

VISIT BULLYING CANADA WEBSITE -- The website has been created by youth for youth from across the Country (Canada)! They are all fully non - paid volunteers and donate many hours a week to the website.
 _______________________
WHY DON'T YOUNG PEOPLE TELL ADULTS? (About being bullied?) 
1. They are ashamed of being bullied
2. They are afraid of retaliation
3. They don't think anyone CAN help them
4. They don't think anyone WILL help them
5. They've bought into the lie that bullying is a necessary part of growing up
6. Thy might believe that adults are part of the lie--they bully too
7. They have learned that "ratting" on a peer is bad, not cool
  • Students typically feel that adult intervention is infrequent and ineffective and that telling adults will only bring more harassment from bullies.
  • Students are also reluctant to tell teachers or school staff as many adults view bullying as a harmless rite of passage that is best ignored-- unless verbal and psychological intimidation crosses the line into physical assault or theft.
________________________ 


 HERE'S HOW THE SCHOOL CAN HELP ... 
  • Provide a reporting method.
  • Provide counseling.
  • Give advice on how to handle the situation.
  • Arrange peer mediation.
  • Keep confidentiality if requested.
  • Listen sympathetically and carefully and take your problem seriously.
  • Support you.
  • Investigate all incidents.
  • Bring both the victim and the bully together for conflict resolution. 


ALL BULLYING AND HARASSMENT WILL BE TAKEN SERIOUSLY

The social context and supervision at school has been shown to play a MAJOR PART in the frequency and severity of bullying problems. While teachers and administrators do not have control over individual and family factors which produce children who are inclined to bully, bullying problems can be greatly reduced in severity by appropriate supervision, intervention and climate in a school. 
 • Supervision of children has been found to be of prime importance. Just as low levels of supervision in the home are associated with the development of bully problems in individual children, so are low levels of supervision at school, particularly on the PLAYGROUND, SCHOOLYARD, and in the HALLWAYS
• The social climate in the school needs to be one where there is WARMTH AND ACCEPTANCE OF ALL STUDENTS, and one where there are high standards for student and teacher behavior toward one another. TEACHER ATTITUDES toward aggression, and skills with supervision and intervention, partly determine how teachers will react to bullying situations. Curricula, administrative policies, and support are also very important.
FOUR EASY WAY TO DEAL WITH BULLIES IN THE CLASSROOM OR PROGRAM... 
• OBSERVE: Quietly watch students as they interact during free time.
• ASK: An anonymous survey can reveal when and where bullying occurs.
• EDUCATE: Teach students what bullying is and the damage it can cause.
• ENFORCE: Hold bullies accountable for their actions with fair consequences

_______________________
 If your school has anti-bullying activities-join them and take part. If they don't--start some of your own. Some schools and programs have taken the following measures to help youth:
    Unite with other communities  with PACER...It takes a community to prevent bullying of children. Annual National Bullying Prevention Awareness Week, each October, encourages communities nationwide to work together to increase awareness of the prevalence and impact of bullying on all children.
    Families, students, schools, organizations and other groups can unite with PACER to prevent bullying in several ways. Activities and materials such as contests, toolkits, and online bullying prevention training are available on to help reduce bullying in schools, recreational programs, and community organizations. PACER has designed free web sites, downloadable activities and helpful information for teachers, administrators, parents and community organization to engage and educate children about bullying prevention in grades K- 5.
    There are resources designed for teens, teachers, administrators, and parents and other professionals to engage, empower and educate students, schools and communities about bullying prevention for middle and high school students.
    _________
GOOD IDEAS SOME SCHOOLS HAVE STARTED:
1. BULLY BOXES...
Kids can put notes in the box if they are too worried to tell someone. If your school has boxes like these use them wisely. Advise the kids to always make sure that anything they write about is the truth.

2. SET UP A BUDDY-SYSTEM... Older students can sometimes volunteer to help new or younger students coming into the school or your program by getting to know them.
3. SPECIALS CAMPAIGNS such as a "no-bullying day" can be a big help.
4. COUNSELING is a good way of talking to someone.
Can you have someone come in and talk about Kids who are being bullied, or who are bullying others?
Some schools have set up PEER COUNSELING where kids volunteer to learn how to help other kids.
 

5. MEDIATION
Some schools and programs have introduced mediation where two people who disagree about something agree that a third person, either an adult of another student, HELPS to find a solution to a problem. This can be helpful in many situations, but not in all cases of bullying...
A bully may refuse to take part because they have no interest in ending the bullying. A victim may feel that a negotiated solution is not fair when it is the other person who is completely in the wrong.

6. Taking part in PLAYS AND OTHER DRAMA ACTIVITES can help people to understand what it feels like to be bullied and to think about what they can do to stop it. This is something that SAC programs can facilitate.
7. PEER SUPPORT where older students volunteer to discuss things such as bullying, friendship, or drugs with groups of younger students.

POSSIBLE CONSEQUENCES FOR BULLIES...   • Counseling.
  • Confronting the Bully with the victim.
  • Have the bully listen to the victim's hurt.
  • Initiate peer mediation with the victim .
  • Contact parents/guardians.
  • Insist on and monitor a behavior contract.
  • Take away privileges.
  • Suspend Bully from school.
  • Ask Bully to leave the school.
  • Take legal action.
If you are bullied or harassed you CAN do something about it!
8. PRACTICE... Tip From Barb Shelby There are several good ideas in this category; many of them will give you information and activities to help derail Bullying. When you come right down to it (After you read and get ideas for what to do) rather than spending a lot of time discussing problems, have children actually PRACTICE WHAT TO DO to prevent or stop those problems.
THIS MEANS...teach children skills and give them the words and tools to handle conflicts, bullying and challenges. Have children practice. Practice with their voices and with their bodies and non-verbal communication. Coach them to experience success.
As far as challenges in your program? Don't allow it. Build a strong "Program Community" where the kids connect and feel good about themselves and their group. Some of the posts in the "Connecting & Feeling Good Category" may help with this.

9.  To initiate a discussion with chidren, USE MESSAGE BOOKS as learning tools! Stories are a great way for children to learn what other children are doing in similar situations.
There are "Bully Theme and  Message Book suggestions" for children  posted on this site. There is also a list for adults with Anti-Bully and Conflict Resolution Themes.
10. In sharing  bullying prevention strategies in School Age Notes, Nancy Mullin proposed providing activities that promote self-confidence, build self-control and resilience, and foster community connections among children...
• Bullied children benefit from participating in a wide range of activities that help them develop common interests with peers, hone friendship-making skills, and build relationships.
Children who tend to be easily left out because they lack social graces or have difficulty reading social signals need guidance to practice pleasant ways of entering play, making conversation, and "understanding" the nuances of give-and-take relationships.
• Form friendship circles to provide isolated youth with social supports. Children who tend to bully others benefit from opportunities to practice self-control, perspective taking, prosocial behavior, and positive ways to engage their peers. Offering cooperative alternatives to competitive games can also help reduce aggression."

By The Bully Blog with No comments

Monday, October 10, 2011

How to Avoid Being Bullied in Middle School

  1. Note that body language is extremely important. Do not look at your feet when you walk. Do not bite your nails (it is an animal instinct of nervousness). Do not walk with your hands in your pockets. Examine your current habits: do any of them make you seem smaller, weaker or less physically capable? If so, change them to something that will make you appear larger and more confident.

  2. Keep in mind that self esteem is even more important but harder to attain. You are a very important person. You matter! You matter to your parents, teachers and relatives. Self-confidence may be the only thing that separates you from the most popular kid in school.
  3. Do not attempt to throw back comebacks unless you are incredibly adept. Bullies practice their comebacks on other kids all day everyday. You probably don't and you will merely say something that they will use against you.
  4. When ridiculed, say nothing, and stare them viciously in the eye like a hungry animal. This may be difficult at first but you won't be giving them the reaction they want. They want you to give in and try to fight them so they can beat you. If you don't fight, they can't win.
  5. You should always tell a parent, teacher or principal if you are bullied. Remember, it is NOT YOUR FAULT. Your school has a legal right to provide you with a safe and fair education. If you are being bullied, your legal rights are being violated. Do not keep quiet.
  6. Keep an eye out in the halls. These are great bully hideouts because they can strike while you are in a group so they won't be seen. Move among the other kids with head held high, scanning for threats. It may sound a bit paranoid but it comes in very handy.
  7. You do not deserve to be bullied. Nothing you have done and nothing that you are caused you to be bullied. Bullies are people who have low self-esteem and a great need for power - a bad combination. Thousands of kids who are perfectly nice get bullied every single day. But you have to take action against it. Don't start a fight, but don't let bullying continue.
  8. Wait until they have thrown the first punch or have hurt or have attempted to hurt you physically. You can then claim it was in self defense and that you just didn't want to get hurt anymore. Never say "He started it!" use the words "self defense" or say "I feared for my safety".
  9. Kicking a bully in the back of the knees while he is walking away will bring him to your level as he falls to his knees. If he is wearing a backpack, pull on that hard from behind and he will fall on his back. Kick him in between the legs. Do not try to fight with your fists. You will almost certainly lose.
  10. If they make fun of something you do or something you wear, do not change your habits. This will only show them they have power over you.
  11. The first time someone you don't know offends you, insults you or hits you this is your chance to stop them before it gets bad. If you stand up for yourself straight away, it sends a message that they should leave you alone. If you let them get away with it by looking away or ignoring it, it may continue and others may join in. Look a bully straight in the eye. Give him a death stare. Bullies often back down with this. Watch your body language. Don't look at the floor. Don't slouch and wish you could disappear, even though you feel that way. Stand strong and tall and face your bully. Bullies usually pick victims who won't stand up to them.
  12. Most importantly, remember that IT IS NOT YOUR FAULT. Tell your school counselor, parents, teacher, and continue to tell them if it does not stop. Schools are breaking the law if they allow bullying to continue within their walls. They MUST provide you with a safe education.
  • NEVER start a fight
  • Don't try to use comebacks.
  • Don't avoid the bully but do not make yourself conspicuous.
  • Improve body language.
  • Be yourself!
  • Self confidence is EVERYTHING.
  • You are worth it and you will make it through this. Life gets better. It truly does.
  • Look on the bright side: victims of bullying often become accomplished artists or writers, philosophers and hard workers when they grow up. Some of the world's most successful people were bullied.
  • Even if they are going to try and start a fight,just simply walk away
  • If they keep on blocking you, just say, "Stop okay? This is going to get you NOWHERE."
  • If they still won't stop, go and tell an adult you trust.
  • Try ignoring the bully. This usually works.
  • Never put up with them physically hurting you, stand up for yourself

By The Bully Blog with No comments

Friday, October 7, 2011

Cyberbullying Prevention Tips for Parents

Cyberbullying was in the news a lot in 2010 because of the tragic toll it can take on victims. If you are not familiar, cyberbullying is bullying behavior (ie, teasing, spreading rumors or embarrassing pictures, making threats, intimidation) that happens online or via text messaging.
Cyberbullying differs from face-to-face bullying in a number of ways. With cell phones and home internet connections, cyberbullying easily follows young people home (or anywhere they have their cell phones), and can turn into a form of constant harassment that’s hard to escape. Additionally, bullying messages can be spread quickly to lots of people via e-mail, text messaging, instant messaging, and social media sites such as Facebook and Twitter, which can give those messages more impact. Finally, messages and photos are hard to control and hard to get rid of once they’re online which can mean that their impacts and related issues can stick around.
There is a lot parents can do to prevent cyberbullying from becoming an issue with their kids and there are ways to deal with it if it comes up.
Talk with your child(ren) about your expectations for their online behavior.
  • This could include telling kids not to say things in digital communications that they would not say in person, not sharing usernames and passwords with anyone but you, and clarifying which websites are okay for them to visit and which are “off-limits”.
  • A great conversation starter and tool is an online behavior pledge like those found here.
Talk with your child(ren) about what happens if cyberbullying occurs.
  • Make sure that your child knows that cyberbullying is unacceptable behavior and what the consequences will be if they are caught cyberbullying another child.
  • If your child is the victim of cyberbullying, it is important that they tell you about it, and that they do not send harassing messages back to the bully. It is also best to save harassing messages, photos, etc. as evidence of cyberbullying.
Report cyberbullying when it happens
  • Talk to the school administration, the bully’s family, law enforcement, and/or report cyberbullying behavior to the website that has been used to spread the harassing messages, photos, etc.
There are many great websites with further tips and information for adults and youth:

By The Bully Blog with No comments

Wednesday, October 5, 2011

Bullying Links

Bullying
Antibully.org.uk
This site aims to help beat bullying for children ages six and up, particularly where they do not want to tell their teachers or parents. Each topic explains what bullying is about and the illustrations and categorised topics make it easy to follow. There are also comments made by people who were bullied themselves.
Anti-Bullying network
This is an interactive website where pupils are able to choose which cartoon character to ask about bullying. There is also a section for parents or caregivers on how to take action when they feel as though someone is getting bullied.

Bullying Online
Very useful for parents of victims of bullying considering legal action. It gives detailed advice on the steps to take within the school including sample letters. There is also useful advice from a solicitor on how to take action, how much it might cost and how effective it might be, plus reading material, school action and contacts.

Bullying.org
Learn about bullying through reading, music, drawings, videos as well as poetry from other site users. Find out how you can also help stop bullying by sending in information about bullying. This site allows all kinds of people being bullied to build solidarity, in order to beat bullying.

Childline
The website of the free helpline for children and young people in the UK. The charity has an excellent section on bullying aimed at young people in school or college with advice, true stories, ways to tackle the bullies and links to other guidance on a range of other problems.

CoastKid
Brighton and Hove's graphics based anti-bullying website that offers a subtle take on bullying and teens.

Department for Education and Skills: bullying
Their motto is "don't suffer in silence." This site warns about the dangers of cyberbullying as well as typical bullying. There are videos to educate people about bullying and also an advice guide for both children and adults.

Kidscape
Advice on who to tell and what to do if you are being bullied, with extra information about making friends and changing schools.

SupportLine
Information on bullying and a confidential telephone helpline offering emotional support.

By The Bully Blog with 1 comment

Monday, October 3, 2011

Girl Scouts bullying prevention

By The Bully Blog with No comments

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