Bullying: Words Can Kill: A "48 Hours" special on bullying in the digital age.

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Cyberbullying 101

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Advice on Cyberbullying and Teens

How do you define cyberbullying?

States have different legal definitions, but cyberbullying essentially means harassment or intimidation through an electronic communication, which 1) physically harms a student or damages their property; or, 2) substantially interferes with a student’s educational opportunities, or 3) is so severe or pervasive that it creates an intimidating or threatening educational environment; or 4) substantially disrupts the orderly operation of the school.

In many ways it is the school equivalent of workplace harassment. Adults do not tolerate it at work, and teens should not accept it at school either.

What is the most common form of cyberbullying?

Texting and the posting of offensive material online often play a significant role in the targeting of an individual. This can take the form of a video of students talking about a classmate or harassing text messages.

How prevalent is sexting?

According to a variety of studies, 20% to 30% of young people have engaged in some kind of sexting, either sending, receiving or forwarding sexually suggestive emails or text messages with a nude or nearly-nude photo. Everyone needs to remember that once you hit the send button, you have no control over where the photo ultimately ends up. Emailing explicit photos is illegal in most states.

Is there a profile of a teen who cyberbullies?

Bullies and their targets come from all backgrounds. Research shows that girls are more likely to cyberbully and that affluence seems to increase the risk.  Also, those who cyberbully tend to spend more time online and own/use more technology than their peers.

Is there a different profile for a teen who bullies versus a teen who cyberbullies?

Teens who cyberbully don’t necessarily have the physical or social power that people who bully do. They may take on personas that they would not assume in person, and the anonymity/invisibility of the Web may reduce inhibitions and embolden them to act in ways they wouldn’t offline. Parents need to ensure that their children understand the effects of technology and use it responsibly

How can parents teach their teens to avoid being bullied on the Internet?

Parents need to understand the technology that their teens use and talk to them about online safety. It is no different than teaching a child to look both ways before crossing the street. Teens need to tell a trusted adult when they experience any form of online bullying.

I recommend that teens should share passwords with their parents and establish an agreement about access. Teens need their privacy, and parents need to know that they are safe. Creating that balance requires trust and communication.

What should schools do to prevent cyberbullying?

Involve parents and students and everyone in the school community. Schools should teach about cyberbullying and its impact. Schools often explain the rules and consequences, but they frequently fail to teach about what led up to the rule.

Schools should have clear policies on cyberbullying, which include training for all staff and procedures for violations. Schools must create safe learning environments for everyone, free from all forms of harassment.
Parents are the best advocates for their kids, so they must work with school administrators to ensure that the school is safe and aware of concerns when they arise. If your school isn’t proactive about cyberbullying, it’s time to ask them why not.

What should parents do to prevent cyberbullying?

Parents must speak to teens in language that they understand; it’s not about the law or telling them that they can’t text, IM or upload to YouTube. Rather, as parents, we must help them understand what cyberbullying is and how it affects them and their friends. Electronic communication is a huge part of their social life so the lesson is about communicating responsibly and treating people with respect.

For more information and tips on how to prevent cyberbullying, go to www.adl.org.

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Consequences of Bullying

Many people think that bullying is a normal part of childhood or that "kids will be kids." However, research shows that in fact, bullying can cause negative academic, physical, social, emotional, and psychological consequences on victims, bullies, and witnesses. These consequences can be short-term or long-term. Bullying can also greatly affect the overall climate of a school.

Victims

First of all, as a result of being bullied, victims may experience many immediate mental or physical health-related consequences. Studies show that victims have more anxiety, sadness, sleep difficulties, low self-esteem, headaches, stomach pain, and general tension than their peers who are not being bullied. Researchers from Finland discovered that victims are more likely than bullies to suffer from anxiety disorders, such as depression, separation anxiety, panic disorder, etc. Also, this psychological stress can cause victims' bodies to be less resistant to disease and infection, and therefore they may get sick more often.

In the social area, victims have few friends or none at all. Due to their high anxiety level and low self-worth, it is very hard for them to make friends. This leads to feelings of isolation and believing that they are not even worthy of having friends. Also, other kids often do not want to become friends with the victims, because they are afraid that they will be bullied as well. Another reason that other kids do not hang around with victims is because they worry that peers will not like them if they associate with the victims.

Feelings of loneliness and sadness on the part of victims can also lead to consequences related to their learning and school success. Being a victim can result in poor school attendance, because many victims become afraid of going to school. They are also scared of riding the school bus or using the bathroom at school. One study found that 8% of 8th graders in the U.S. miss at least one day of school per month for fear of bullies. Victims often receive lower grades due to attendance problems, and also due to their stress and worry. They become obsessed with the bullying and how to try to avoid it. This leaves little or no time, energy, or concern for schoolwork and learning. A vicious cycle can occur because the victim's poor school performance can lead to embarrassment and anxiety, which can in turn cause them to be picked on even more.

Another possible result of being bullied is that victims may become violent, either at the time of the bullying or in their futures. This violent behavior may be directed toward themselves, toward their school in general, or may even be directed as retaliation toward the bullies themselves. Sometimes the violent behavior can lead to even more bullying towards the victim, as the bullies want revenge on the victim for bullying them.

Some experts believe that school shootings are related to bullying. Students who committed school shootings were over two times as likely to have reported that they were victims of bullying.

As mentioned earlier, victims are more likely to suffer from anxiety disorders and depression, and these disorders can continue into adulthood. Sometimes the disorders can also cause difficulties with the victims' family, friends, and co-workers in their futures.

In some cases, the bullying may be so severe and may go on for so long that the victim has thoughts of suicide, (which is also called suicidal ideation), or he or she may actually commit suicide. Victims are also more likely to have attempted suicide than their non-bullied peers. The term "bullycide" is used to describe a victim's suicide that occurs due to extreme bullying behavior by a bully toward that victim.

The following poem (from the 4 Troubled Teens website) shows the sadness and desperation on the part of a 13 year old boy in Manchester, England who hung himself as a result of serious bullying:

I shall remember forever and will never forget Monday: My money taken Tuesday: Names called Wednesday: My uniform torn Thursday: My body pouring with blood Friday: It's ended Saturday: Freedom

Bullies

Children who bully others also experience many short term and long term consequences of their bullying behavior. They are more likely to get involved in other harmful activities, both as a child and as an adult. While they are still young, they may steal or vandalize property, start or join in on physical fights, become injured in a fight, skip school, carry a weapon in order to scare others, or use alcohol and other drugs. They are also five times more likely to be taken to criminal court and to be found guilty of a crime than are their peers who do not participate in bullying behavior. 

Most bullies do not just "outgrow" their bullying behaviors when they get older. Instead, the aggressive behavior continues into adulthood. A study conducted by psychologist Dan Olweus of Norway found that 60% of students in Scandinavian countries who were classified as bullies in 6th through 9th grade had one or more incidents of being convicted of a crime by the time they were 24 years old. Also, these bullies were four or more times as likely as nonbullies to be involved in numerous convictions of crimes. Another study showed that by the time they were 30 years old, one out of 4 bullies had a criminal record.

The bullies' need for power tends to carry on into their grownup years. As adults, these bullies misuse this power by becoming involved in sexual and racial harassment, child abuse, domestic violence, etc. Their need for power can also show up in how they parent their own children. In turn, their children may even bully other children in the future.

Remember how a researcher from Finland found that victims were more likely to develop anxiety disorders than bullies were? That same researcher discovered that bullies were more likely to have an antisocial personality disorder as opposed to anxiety disorders. An antisocial personality disorder involves a long-term disregard for others, delinquent behavior, violence, aggression, and violation of the rights of others. In other words, since bullies do not learn appropriate social skills when they are young, they grow up to be antisocial adults. They will have poor relationships with others, including family members, friends, co-workers, etc.

Finally victims aren't the only ones who may become depressed, think about suicide, or carry out suicide; in some cases, the same can be true for bullies.

Witnesses

There are also consequences for children who are bystanders or witnesses to bullying. They suffer from frustration, fear, low self-esteem, and a loss of control. They may also feel a huge sense of guilt about the bullying they witness, especially if they do not "S.A.V.E." the victim and the bullying continues. Sometimes their guilt is too much for them to accept. In these cases, the witnesses may go from empathizing with the victim to later thinking that the bullying is acceptable. This is their way of preventing themselves from feeling more guilt in the future; they will simply not even recognize that someone is being hurt.

Witnesses also develop a lot of anxiety and stress. They worry that they will also become a victim and therefore their feelings of safety and security at school decrease. This leads to negative feelings toward school, which can also contribute to problems with learning and achievement.

After reading about the effects of bullying on bullies, victims, and bystanders, do you think it makes sense to say, "Kids will be kids?" We don't! We think that the research about the consequences of bullying really shows that we must all do everything we can to prevent childhood bullying. Be a H.E.R.O. in your school, neighborhood and community: Help Everyone Respect Others!

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Conference on Bullying Prevention Opening Session

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Primetime from ABC News: Harmless Joke or Cyber-Bullying?

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Tips for dealing with bullying and cyber-bullying

Tips for dealing with bullying and cyber-bullying

There is no single solution to bullying and cyber-bullying. It may take some experimenting with a variety of different responses to find the strategy that works best for your situation. To defeat a bully, you need to retain your self-control and preserve your sense of self.

Tip #1: Respond as bullying is happening

• Walk away. Bullies want to know they have control over your emotions so don’t react with anger or retaliate with physical force. If you walk away, ignore them, or calmly and assertively tell them you’re not interested in what they have to say, you’re demonstrating that they don’t have control over you.
• Protect yourself. If you can’t walk away and are being physically hurt, protect yourself so you can get away. Your safety is the first priority.
• Report the bullying to a trusted adult. If you don’t report threats and assaults, a bully will often become more and more aggressive. In many cases adults can find ways to help with the problem without letting the bully know it was you who reported them.
• Repeat as necessary. Like the bully, you may have to be relentless. Report each and every bullying incident until it stops. There is no reason for you to ever put up with bullying.

Tip #2: Handle a cyber-bully

• Do not respond to cyber-bullying messages. The bully wants to feel in control of your emotions, so the best response is no response.
• Document cyber-bullying. Save and print out emails, text messages, or screenshots.
• Block the cyber-bully on your phone, IM list, websites, or social media pages. Report inappropriate messages to an Internet service provider or website moderator; report threats to the police.

Tip #3: Reframe the problem of bullying or cyber-bullying

By changing your attitude towards bullying you can help regain a sense of control.

• Try to view bullying from a different perspective. The bully is an unhappy, frustrated person who wants to have control over your feelings so that you feel as badly as they do. Don’t give them the satisfaction.
• Look at the big picture. Bullying can be extremely painful, but try asking yourself how important it will seem to you in the long run. Will it matter in a year? Is it worth getting so upset over? If the answer is no, focus your time and energy elsewhere.
• Focus on the positive. Reflect on all the things you appreciate in your life, including your own positive qualities and gifts. Make a list and refer to it whenever you feel down.
• Find the humor. If you’re relaxed enough to recognize the absurdity of a bullying situation, and to comment on it with humor, you’ll likely no longer be an interesting target for a bully.
• Don’t try to control the uncontrollable. Many things in life are beyond our control—including the behavior of other people. Rather than stressing, focus on the things you can control such as the way you choose to react to bullies.

Tip #4: Avoid isolation

Having trusted people you can turn to for encouragement and support will boost your resilience when being bullied. Reach out to connect with family and real friends (those who don’t participate in bullying) or explore ways of making new friends. There are plenty of people who will love and appreciate you for who you are.

• Find others who share your same values and interests. You may be able to make friends at a youth group, book club, or religious organization. Learn a new sport, join a team, or take up a new hobby such as chess, art, or music.
• Share your feelings. Talk to a parent, counselor, coach, religious leader, or trusted friend. Expressing what you’re going through can make a huge difference to the way you feel, even if it doesn’t change the situation.
• Boost your confidence. Exercise is a great way to help you feel good about yourself, as well as reduce stress. Punch a mattress or take a kick boxing class to work off your anger.
• Don’t beat yourself up. Don’t make a bullying incident worse by dwelling on it or replaying it over and over in your head. Instead, focus on positive experiences you’ve had.

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If you see someone being bullied…

 Although you may not be directly involved in the bullying, there may be times when you see others being bullied. And even though it may be easier to stand by and watch or ignore the bullying, try to keep in mind, we all need a little help from time to time. Think about how you might feel if the bullying was happening to you. Here’s how you can make a difference:

• Stand up for the victim. It takes a lot of courage, but try defending the person being bullied. This can shock and embarrass the bully so much that they leave their victim alone.
• Don’t join in on bullying. If you see someone being bullied, don’t join in. If the bully tries to get you to help, refuse and walk away.
• Stop the rumors. Don’t help spread rumors about another person. You wouldn’t want rumors spread about you, so don’t do it to someone else! If someone gossips to you, let it end with you – don’t pass it on to others. You can even tell that person you’re not interested.
• Tell an adult. Don’t just stand there and watch, especially if someone is being hurt physically. Tell an adult about the bully and what’s going on. If you feel uncomfortable or unsafe telling an adult, ask the adult to keep your comments private.
• Offer help. When the bully is gone, try and help the person who was bullied and make sure he or she is okay. Encourage her to talk to an adult and stick up for herself.

When you help someone who’s being bullied, you are not just helping someone else, you’re also helping yourself. It’s important to stand up for what you believe in and help others when you can.

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Dear Bystander,

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How Do We Stop Bullying in Schools?

The best and most obvious way to stop bullying in schools is for parents to change the way they parent their children at home. Of course, this is much easier said than done and everyone parents their children differently. Bullies, however, come from homes where physical punishment is used and children have been taught that physical violence is the way to handle problems and “get their way.”
Bullies usually also come from homes where the parents fight a lot, so violence has been modeled for them. Parental involvement often is lacking in bullies’ lives and there seems to be little warmth.
Early intervention and effective discipline and boundaries truly is the best way to stop bullying, but parents of the victims or therapists cannot change the bully’s home environment. Some things can be done at the school level, however.

1. Most school programs that address bullying use a multi-faceted approach to the problem. This usually involves counseling of some sort, either by peers, a school counselor, teachers, or the principal.
2. Hand out questionnaires to all students and teachers and discuss if bullying is occurring. Define exactly what constitutes bullying at school. The questionnaire is a wonderful tool that allows the school to see how widespread bullying is and what forms it is taking. It is a good way to start to address the problem.
3. Get the children’s parents involved in a bullying program. If parents of the bullies and the victims are not aware of what is going on at school, then the whole bullying program will not be effective. Stopping bullying in school takes teamwork and concentrated effort on everyone’s part. Bullying also should be discussed during parent-teacher conferences and PTA meetings. Parental awareness is key.
4. In the classroom setting, all teachers should work with the students on bullying. Oftentimes even the teacher is being bullied in the classroom and a program should be set up that implements teaching about bullying. Children understand modeling behaviors and role-play and acting out bullying situations is a very effective tool. Have students role-play a bullying situation. Rules that involve bullying behaviors should be clearly posted. Schools also could ask local mental health professionals to speak to students about bullying behaviors and how it directly affects the victims.
5. Schools need to make sure there is enough adult supervision at school to lessen and prevent bullying.

A child who has to endure bullying usually suffers from low self-esteem and their ability to learn and be successful at school is dramatically lessened. Schools and parents must educate children about bullying behaviors; it will help all children feel safe and secure at school. Children who bully need to be taught empathy for others’ feelings in order to change their behaviors and the school must adopt a zero-tolerance policy regarding bullying.

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PSA - STOP BULLYING

This is a public service announcement that showcases the worst-possible consequence of cyber-bullying--inspired by the increasing number of suicides from bullied victims in 2010.

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Bullying: True Stories

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Bullying Behavior vs Respectful Behavior

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Dealing with Bullies

Bullying is a big problem. It can make kids feel hurt, scared, sick, lonely, embarrassed and sad. Bullies might hit, kick, or push to hurt people, or use words to call names, threaten, tease, or scare them.
A bully might say mean things about someone, grab a kid's stuff, make fun of someone, or leave a kid out of the group on purpose.
Some bullies threaten people or try to make them do things they don't want to do.

Bullying Is a Big Deal

Bullying is a big problem that affects lots of kids. Three-quarters of all kids say they have been bullied or teased. Being bullied can make kids feel really bad. The stress of dealing with bullies can make kids feel sick.
Bullying can make kids not want to play outside or go to school. It's hard to keep your mind on schoolwork when you're worried about how you're going to deal with the bully near your locker.
Bullying bothers everyone — and not just the kids who are getting picked on. Bullying can make school a place of fear and can lead to more violence and more stress for everyone.

Why Do Bullies Act That Way?

Some bullies are looking for attention. They might think bullying is a way to be popular or to get what they want. Most bullies are trying to make themselves feel more important. When they pick on someone else, it can make them feel big and powerful.
Some bullies come from families where everyone is angry and shouting all the time. They may think that being angry, calling names, and pushing people around is a normal way to act. Some bullies are copying what they've seen someone else do. Some have been bullied themselves.
Sometimes bullies know that what they are doing or saying hurts other people. But other bullies may not really know how hurtful their actions can be. Most bullies don't understand or care about the feelings of others.
Bullies often pick on someone they think they can have power over. They might pick on kids who get upset easily or who have trouble sticking up for themselves. Getting a big reaction out of someone can make bullies feel like they have the power they want. Sometimes bullies pick on someone who is smarter than they are or different from them in some way. Sometimes bullies just pick on a kid for no reason at all.
Gemma told her mom that this one kid was picking on her for having red hair and freckles. She wanted to be like the other kids but she couldn’t change those things about herself. Finally Gemma made friends at her local swimming pool with a girl who wished she had red hair like Gemma's. The two girls became great friends and she learned to ignore the mean girl's taunts at school.

Bullying: How to Handle It

So now you know that bullying is a big problem that affects a lot of kids, but what do you do if someone is bullying you? Our advice falls into two categories: preventing a run-in with the bully, and what to do if you end up face-to-face with the bully.

Preventing a Run-In With a Bully

Don't give the bully a chance. As much as you can, avoid the bully. You can't go into hiding or skip class, of course. But if you can take a different route and avoid him or her, do so.
Stand tall and be brave. When you're scared of another person, you're probably not feeling your bravest. But sometimes just acting brave is enough to stop a bully. How does a brave person look and act? Stand tall and you'll send the message: "Don't mess with me." It's easier to feel brave when you feel good about yourself. See the next tip!
Feel good about you. Nobody's perfect, but what can you do to look and feel your best? Maybe you'd like to be more fit. If so, maybe you'll decide to get more exercise, watch less TV, and eat healthier snacks. Or maybe you feel you look best when you shower in the morning before school. If so, you could decide to get up a little earlier so you can be clean and refreshed for the school day.
Get a buddy (and be a buddy). Two is better than one if you're trying to avoid being bullied. Make a plan to walk with a friend or two on the way to school or recess or lunch or wherever you think you might meet the bully. Offer to do the same if a friend is having bully trouble. Get involved if you see bullying going on in your school — tell an adult, stick up for the kid being bullied, and tell the bully to stop.

If The Bully Says or Does Something to You

Ignore the bully. If you can, try your best to ignore the bully's threats. Pretend you don't hear them and walk away quickly to a place of safety. Bullies want a big reaction to their teasing and meanness. Acting as if you don't notice and don't care is like giving no reaction at all, and this just might stop a bully's behavior.
Stand up for yourself. Pretend to feel really brave and confident. Tell the bully "No! Stop it!" in a loud voice. Then walk away, or run if you have to. Kids also can stand up for each other by telling a bully to stop teasing or scaring someone else, and then walk away together. If a bully wants you to do something that you don't want to do — say "no!" and walk away. If you do what a bully says to do, they will likely keep bullying you. Bullies tend to bully kids who don't stick up for themselves.
Don't bully back. Don't hit, kick, or push back to deal with someone bullying you or your friends. Fighting back just satisfies a bully and it's dangerous, too, because someone could get hurt. You're also likely to get in trouble. It's best to stay with others, stay safe, and get help from an adult.
Don't show your feelings. Plan ahead. How can you stop yourself from getting angry or showing you're upset? Try distracting yourself (counting backwards from 100, spelling the word 'turtle' backwards, etc.) to keep your mind occupied until you are out of the situation and somewhere safe where you can show your feelings.
Tell an adult. If you are being bullied, it's very important to tell an adult. Find someone you trust and go and tell them what is happening to you. Teachers, principals, parents, and lunchroom helpers at school can all help to stop bullying. Sometimes bullies stop as soon as a teacher finds out because they're afraid that they will be punished by parents. This is not tattling on someone who has done something small — bullying is wrong and it helps if everyone who gets bullied or sees someone being bullied speaks up.

What Happens to Bullies?

In the end, most bullies wind up in trouble. If they keep acting mean and hurtful, sooner or later they may have only a few friends left — usually other kids who are just like them. The power they wanted slips away fast. Other kids move on and leave bullies behind.
Luis lived in fear of Brian — every day he would give his lunch money to Brian but he still beat him up. He said that if Luis ever told anyone he would beat him up in front of all the other kids in his class. Luis even cried one day and another girl told everyone that he was a baby and had been crying. Luis was embarrassed and felt so bad about himself and about school. Finally, Brian got caught threatening Luis and they were both sent to the school counselor. Brian got in a lot of trouble at home. Over time, Brian learned how to make friends and ask his parents for lunch money. Luis never wanted to be friends with Brian but he did learn to act strong and more confident around him.
Some kids who bully blame others. But every kid has a choice about how to act. Some kids who bully realize that they don't get the respect they want by threatening others. They may have thought that bullying would make them popular, but they soon find out that other kids just think of them as trouble-making losers.
The good news is that kids who are bullies can learn to change their behavior. Teachers, counselors, and parents can help. So can watching kids who treat others fairly and with respect. Bullies can change if they learn to use their power in positive ways. In the end, whether bullies decide to change their ways is up to them. Some bullies turn into great kids. Some bullies never learn.
But no one needs to put up with a bully's behavior. If you or someone you know is bothered by a bully, talk to someone you trust. Everyone has the right to feel safe, and being bullied makes people feel unsafe. Tell someone about it and keep telling until something is done.

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You Can Stop Bullying

You Can Stop Bullying from The Pittsburgh Foundation on Vimeo.


You Can Stop Bullying


Bullying is a huge problem for kids and teenagers today. You see it on the bus, in the halls at school and especially online. Today we have more access to new media like smartphones, YouTube and Facebook than ever before which means that for most kids cyberbullying has replaced fighting in the playground as the most common and often the most hurtful kind of bullying.

But the good news is YOU have the power to stop bullying !!

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Bullying: It's Not OK

Bullying is when one child picks on another child again and again. Usually children who are being bullied are either weaker or smaller, are shy, and generally feel helpless.

Facts About Bullying 

• Both girls and boys can be bullies.
• Bullies target children who cry, get mad, or easily give in to them. 
• There are 3 types of bullying.
• Physical—hitting, kicking, pushing, choking, punching
• Verbal—threatening, taunting, teasing, hate speech
• Social—excluding victims from activities or starting rumors about them

Bullying Happens:

• At school—in the halls, at lunch, or in the bathroom, when teachers are not there to see what is going on.
• When adults are not watching—going to and from school, on the playground, or in the neighborhood.
• Through e-mail or instant messaging—rumors are spread or nasty notes are sent.

Bullying is Different from Fighting or Teasing:

• A bully has power over another child. 
• Bullies try to control other children by scaring them. 
• Being picked on over and over can make your child a victim. 
• Bullying usually happens when other children are watching.

Talk With Your Child About Bullying

Even if you don’t think your child is bullied, a bully, or a bystander, you will be helping to protect your child just by asking these questions:

• “How are things going at school?” 
• “What do you think of the other kids in your class?” 
• “Does anyone get picked on or bullied?” 

When your child is bullied, talk with your child about how to stay safe. Bullies always pick on smaller or weaker children. If there is a fight, and the bully “wins,” this will only make matters worse for your child.

Help your child learn how to respond

Let’s talk about what you can do and say if this happens again.
Teach your child how to:

• Look the bully in the eye.
• Stand tall and stay calm in a difficult situation. 
• Walk away.

Teach your child how to say in a firm voice: 

• “I don’t like what you are doing.” 
• “Please do NOT talk to me like that.” 
•  “Why would you say that?”

Just telling your child to do and say these things is not enough. For many children, these skills do not come naturally. It is like learning a new language—lots of practice is needed. Practice so that, in the heat of the moment, these skills will come to your child naturally.
Teach your child when and how to ask for help. Your child should not be afraid to ask an adult for help when bullying happens. Since some children are embarrassed about being bullied, parents need to let their children know that being bullied is not their fault.
Encourage your child to make friends with other children. There are many adult-supervised groups, in and out of school, that your child can join. Invite your child’s friends over to your home. Children who are loners are more likely to get picked on.
Support activities that interest your child. By participating in activities such as team sports, music groups, or social clubs, your child will develop new abilities and social skills. When children feel good about how they relate to others, they are less likely to be picked on.
Alert school officials to the problems and work with them on solutions.

• Since bullying often occurs outside the classroom, talk with the principal, guidance counselor, or playground monitors, as well as your child’s teachers. When school officials know about bullying, they can help stop it. 
• Write down and report all bullying to your child’s school. By knowing when and where the bullying occurs, you and your child can better plan what to do if it happens again. 
• Some children who are bullied will fear going to school, have difficulty paying attention at school, or develop symptoms like headaches or stomach pains.

When Your Child is the Bully

If you know that your child is bullying others, take it very seriously. Now is the time when you can change your child’s behavior.
In the long run, bullies continue to have problems. These problems often get worse. If the bullying behavior is allowed to continue, then when these children become adults, they are much less successful in their work and family lives and may even get in trouble with the law.
Set firm and consistent limits on your child’s aggressive behavior. Be sure your child knows that bullying is never OK.
Be a positive role model. Children need to develop new and constructive strategies for getting what they want.
Show children that they can get what they want without teasing, threatening, or hurting someone. All children can learn to treat others with respect.
Use effective, nonphysical discipline, such as loss of privileges. When your child needs discipline, explain why the behavior was wrong and how your child can change it.
Help your child understand how bullying hurts other children. Give real examples of the good and bad results of your child’s actions.
Develop practical solutions with others. Together with the school principal, teachers, counselors, and parents of the children your child has bullied, find positive ways to stop the bullying.     

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Demi Lovato: "I was bullied because I was fat"

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What You Can Do

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Talking to Kids about Bullying

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Anti-Bullying, Bullying Quotes (www.getoutthebox.org)

Here is a selection of bullying and anti-bullying quotes from a few web sites about quotes. Hopefully if you are a victim of bullying these quotes might make you think.



“The bullying stopped when I claimed myself and proved that I wasn’t afraid. A lot of it was when I was hiding when I was younger.” ~ Randy Harrison

“True courage is cool and calm. The bravest of men have the least of a brutal, bullying insolence, and in the very time of danger are found the most serene and free.” ~ Lord Shaftesbury

“The challenge of leadership is to be strong, but not rude; be kind, but not weak; be bold, but not bully; be thoughtful, but not lazy; be humble, but not timid; be proud, but not arrogant; have humor, but without folly.” ~ Jim Rohn

“I do not at all have the mind of a bully… in my mind bullies are intolerant of contrary opinion, domineering and rather cowardly. I would hope that none of those terms could be fairly used in describing me.” ~ Conrad Black

“Never be bullied into silence. Never allow yourself to be made a victim. Accept no one’s definition of your life, but define yourself.” ~ Harvey S. Firestone

“Bullies are always cowards at heart and may be credited with a pretty safe instinct in scenting their prey.” ~ Anna Julia Cooper


“First they ignore you, then they laugh at you, then they fight you, then you win.” ~ Mahatma Gandhi

“All it takes is one good friend and school is a good place to be.” ~ Judy H. Wright

“Who gets harmed by bullying? Bullying behavior harms both the victim and perpetrator. If a child experiences chronic intimidation, he or she may learn to expect this from others. When a child or teen is mean to another it is important to look for patterns and motivations. If he or she is allowed to continue the behavior it becomes habitual. He becomes more likely to surround himself with friends who condone and promote aggressive behavior. He may not develop a mature sense of justice. If he intimidates others to cover up his own insecurities, his own anxiety may increase.” ~ Carol Watkins, M.D.

“If you can’t beat them, arrange to have them beaten.” ~ George Carlin

http://www.getoutthebox.org

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Illuminate Cyberbullying

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"Bully" Rap

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Bullying Prevention Video: Losers...

Losers from Everynone on Vimeo.

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Anti-Bully Blog Video of the Day: How Great I am

How Great I am from Naeem Callaway on Vimeo.

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How to Bully-Proof Your Kids

Your child does not have to put up with a bully, or even be the target of a bully. The following is a list of things you can do to make your child bully proof.
1. Enroll your child in a karate, self defense, or some other course that will help them learn some moves to ward off attackers, and protect themselves from physical harm. Bullies usually start out their bullying with emotional warfare, and then move toward physical bullying. Sometimes a bully will go straight to hitting, kicking, and the like. So, to make sure your child does not get beat up by a bully, teach them how to defend themselves.
2. Encourage your child to tell on bullies. Even if your child is not the one being bullied, if they know someone who is, they should tell on them. A bully can hurt someone. If a bully is going to bully another child, and knows that you are going to tell on them if they bully someone else, you will likely tell if they bully you. A bully doesn’t want to bully someone who they know is going to get them in trouble. It is not worth the risk, especially when there is someone who will let them get away with bullying.

 

Teach your child to respect others.

3. Make sure your child travels with a friend. Bullies like to pick on kids who are alone. They prefer to pick on the easiest targets. So, make sure that your child is not an easy target. If you want your child to be bully proof, encourage them to travel in pairs. Having a buddy with you makes it easier for your child to avoid the confrontation and aggressiveness of bullies.
4. Limit your child’s time on the Internet. You need to monitor online use because much of today’s bullying has become sophisticated, and is less about the physical and face-to-face abuse, but the mental and psychological abuse. They might torment your child through emails, instant messages, social networking posts, and the like. So, help your child avoid this by teaching them about appropriate online usage, and how to protect themselves by not setting themselves up for bullying. If your kid puts an incriminating picture, or writes something that can be construed to mean something else, a bully will use it for fodder, so make sure your online security is high, and your kids are thinking about their actions.
5. Enroll your child in schools with no tolerance programs. It is much easier to make your child bully proof if you have support of the schools, where a lot of bullying takes place. Encourage your school to start a no bullying program, and to enforce it. Encourage them to provide courses for self-defense and the like. This will help your child steer clear of bullies, as many kids won’t risk getting kicked out of school just to pick on someone.



http://www.getoutthebox.org

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How to Prevent Bullying-Ways to Stop Your Child From Being Bullied

Bullying is not something a parent wants to see done to their child, and fortunately there are a few things you can do to stop your child from being bullied at school. If you and they work on the following five things, the chances of your child being bullied will decrease.
1. Help your kid be cool. It is a well known fact that bullies tend to prey on the weaker kids, the ones on the outskirts of the social hierarchy, the ones who are easy targets. If you don’t want your child to be bullied, you have to try and make your child one of the cool kids, someone who has friends, and is accepted by peers. To do this, you have to mimic the things that are cool. This means dressing right, being involved in the right after school activities, etc. This does not mean you should compromise your child’s identity, just try to make it a little more streamline.
2. Buddy system beats the bully system. Bullies pick on the loners, and usually only pick targets that are easy to attack, whether that is verbally or physically. A single bully is less likely to attack a child who is with a friend or in a group. So, make sure your child has a friend they walk to and from school with, and encourage them to hang out in groups on the playground, and near the playground monitors if bullying is a real problem, as a bully will be less likely to attack if they are near adults.
3. Help them improve their confidence. A child with high self esteem is not usually a target for bullies. The reason being that bullies bully for the satisfaction of seeing their words etc. affect the victim. A child with high self esteem isn’t going to crumble at name calling etc. You can’t just give a child self esteem, they have to find it on their own, but you can help them develop their skills and talents, and constantly reinforce their worth to them until they start to feel they are someone of worth.
4. Teach them to tell on the bully. If they bully is getting in trouble each time they pick on your child because never fail your child tells, chances are they will stop picking on them soon enough. A bully isn’t going to want to get in trouble any more than the next kid, and if your child fails to report the bullying, it is like telling the bully that they have a free pass. So, even if it makes them feel like a tattle tell, or a baby, or whatever else, make sure they tell.
5. Help them develop a thicker skin. It is imperative that your child develops a thick skin if you want to prevent bullying. Bullies do so for reactions, so if your child bursts into tears or a fit anytime someone looks in their direction the wrong way it will be like a flashing light above their head telling people to bully them.


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Ten Anti-Bullying Tips

Being bullied is never easy, and can make a child feel very powerless, alone, isolated, and fearful. The following are ten things your child can do to stop a bully. These tactics works for adults as well as children. No matter what the bullying situation, it is possible to stop a bully by trying the following ten tactics.
1. Learn to look or act indifferent. A lot of bullying comes as a result of the reactions you give bullies when they push your buttons. If they find that they can elicit a response from you, they will continue to bully you. So, learn to keep your emotions off your face, so that they give up and move on.
2. Ignore the bully if you can. Bullies usually taunt first, and bully second. So, ignore them if you can. If they instant message you, don’t respond. If they yell your name at school, just keep walking. If they come up to you in a classroom, just look the other way. Ignore, ignore, ignore. Bullies feed off of attention.
3. Stand up to them. This does not mean bully back, it just means that you shouldn’t put up with it. Let them know that you will tell on them, that you aren’t going to just take it, and that you aren’t afraid to get them in trouble. Usually bullies pick on kids who are too weak or too frightened to ever get them in trouble.
4. Avoid the bully. Sometimes bullies will bully out of opportunity more than anything else. So, avoid places, situations, times, and people that may lead to you being bullied. For example, don’t wander clear out by the fence during recess because a bully will have ample time to bully you without a playground monitor catching them.
5. Tell someone. There is a difference between tattling and telling. If you just tell to get them in trouble you are a tattle, but if you tell because they pose a danger to you or your friends, tell on them.
6. Be brave. You can’t show a bully that you are afraid of them, or the bullying will get worse. If you fear standing up to them, fear telling on them, and fear interaction with them, and let them know it, you empower them. So, instead, work on that mask of indifference, and avoid them when possible.
7. Work the buddy system. Bullies tend to single out kids who are already singled out, who are alone. It is far easier for one kid to pick on one kid, than one kid to pick on two. So, have a buddy when you are in situations where you might run into the bully.
8. Build self-esteem. Bullies can sense when someone has low esteem, and they prey on that. It is like they figure out what you are most afraid of, and self conscious of, and that is what they target.
9. Confront them. It is important that if the bully you, you call them out on it. Ask them what their problem is, why they are picking on you, and make sure they know you are the victim. Sometimes recognizing that they are making someone a victim will give them a wake up call, and get them to stop.
10. Report it every time. If it happens at school, tell the teacher, lunch lady, hall monitor, or whomever you need to to make sure it gets stopped. If it happens enough times, is reported often enough, etc. it will eventually stop.

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Anti-Bully Slogans for School

 

 

 

Anti Bully Slogans For Schools

Don’t be mean behind the screen.


Online harassment has an off-line impact


Think twice what you type


Control , Escape , Delete .


Be nice on the Net


Delete cyber bullying, don’t write it, don’t foward it
 
Don’t be mean behind the screen.

It isn’t big to make make others feel small

Bullying is Whack, Get On The Right Track

Keep in mind
To be kind
Cos bullying’s mean
And not to be seen.

Step up so others won’t get stepped on.

Bullying? Be Smart, Don’t Start


Take a stand. Lend a Hand


Online harassment has an off-line impact


Think twice what you type


Be cool in our school
It’s Bully Free
And so are we!!!!


Control , Escape , Delete .


Bullies are not cool they’re just cruel


Bullying is like smoking, it can kill.


UNITED WE STAND; DIVIDED WE FALL


Niceness is Priceless


Bulling is cruel so dont act like a fool


Leave bullying to bulls. Become human


Meanness is a sign of weakness!


Be the change you wish to see in the world



Some bruises are on the inside. Stop bullying.


Bullies tear down. Friends build up.


What goes around comes around.

By being a bully you show everyone what an inferior coward you are.


Use Your Brain, Being A Bully Won’t Gain


Nasty Names hurt just as much as a knife.


Let’s cheer, bulling is not accepted here!

Bulling is bad.. Don’t make others feel sad

A bully tries to put you down, because they are not up.


No one will miss a bully.


Make The Grade, Join The Anti-Bully Crusade


If you turn and face the other way when someone is being bullied, you might as well be the bully too.


Who wants a bully for a friend?


Help, Don’t Hurt


It’s easy to bully, but the really strong help others.


A bully won’t stop until he is stopped.


Support,report,defend

Stop the pain YOU cause!


Only cowards are bullies.


Bullies are cowards inside.



It takes a stronger person to do what’s right, don’t belittle .

Bullies need to make others feel insecure because they are insecure.


Do you realize how much YOU hurt!


Be nice on the Net


Delete cyber bullying, don’t write it, don’t foward it


http://www.getoutthebox.org

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Anti Bullying Quotes Montage

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Strategies for Bullied Students

General Strategies:

• Look confident (assertive body language) by standing tall and holding your head up.
• Don’t cry and run off. Instead move closer, turn sideways, and have non-threatening eye contact.
• Keep your facial expressions neutral. Don’t look sad and don’t look angry.
• Hold your arms beside your body. Don’t hold your arms up like you want to fight.
• Make your assertive comment and then walk off confidently.

Specific Strategies:

• Make an assertive statement: With a serious face and a strong but calm voice say, "Stop it!" or say, “This is a waste of my time. I’m out of here.” (walk off confidently) - Or say some other appropriate comment, but do not provoke the student who bullies
• Fogging—(admit the characteristic) soft verbal comebacks. For example, “Allan, you sure are fat.” You could say, “You’re right, I need to lose weight.” (walk off confidently)
• Admit the Obvious—point out that the bully sees the obvious— “Wow! He noticed I have big ears.” (walk off confidently)
• Broken record — repeat “What did you say?” or “That’s your opinion.” or “So.” (Then, walk off confidently)
• Confront bully concerning his/her spreading lies/rumors. (walk off confidently.)
• Expose the ignorance of the student who bullies you. For example, if he is bullying you because of your medical problem or disability, tell him the facts about it. (walk off confidently)
• Give permission to tease– “Well, it’s okay to say what you want. It doesn’t bother me.” (walk off confidently.)
• Use sense of humor (do not make the bully feel like he/she is being laughed at). For example, if the bully says, “You sure do have big ears.” You could say, “I know, sometimes I feel like I am an elephant.” (walk off confidently)
• Make an asset of characteristic. For example, one boy was teased because he lost his hair because of cancer treatments. He said, “Well, I guess Michael Jordan and I are alike, we both don’t have much hair.” (walked off confidently)
• Throw something and run when you are at risk of being hurt or you are in danger.

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Assertiveness Strategies for Bystanders

Note: Use the following information only with the recommendation of your teacher or counselor and your parents. These strategies should also be used with other strategies to keep you and others safe.

General Strategies:

• Look confident (assertive body language) by standing tall, with your shoulders back
• Move closer to the bully, beside the victim, turn sideways, and give the bully non-threatening eye contact
• Keep your facial expressions neutral
• Keep your arms beside your body
• Make your stand then leave the situation

Specific Strategies:

• Make assertive statements for the victim: With a serious face and a strong but calm voice say, "Stop it!" or say “This is a waste of Bobby’s time and my time. Come with me Bobby.” (walk off confidently with Bobby) - Or say some other appropriate comment, but do not provoke the student who bullies.
• Use “Fogging.” For example, admit that you also have the characteristic the bully is using to tease someone): “You know, Bobby and I both need to lose weight. Come with me Bobby.” (walk off confidently with Bobby)
• Exhaust the topic (repeated questioning about putdown). For example, “How many people do you know that are fat?” “How overweight do you have to be to be fat?” “How long do you have to be overweight to be fat?” “Come with me Bobby.” (walk off confidently with Bobby)
• Broken record — repeat: “What did you say?” or “That’s your opinion.” or “So.” “Come with me Bobby.” (walk off confidently with Bobby)
• Confront the bully concerning his/her spreading rumors and lies about someone. Refuse to spread the lies and demand that the rumors/stop.
• Expose the ignorance of the bully when he/she is teasing someone because of their disability or medical problem. Reveal the facts. Then ask the victim of bullying to walk off with you. (walk off confidently with Bobby)
• Give the bully permission to tease: “Well, it’s okay to say what you want. It doesn’t bother Bobby and it doesn’t bother me. Come with me Bobby.” (walk off confidently with Bobby)
• Take on the characteristic used to tease someone and use a sense of humor: “You know Bobby and I both have big ears, sometimes we feel like elephants. Don’t we Bobby?” or “You know, Bobby and I both are pretty stupid. Come with me Bobby.” (walk off confidently with Bobby)
• Make an asset of the characteristic used to tease someone: “Well, I guess _______ ______ (a famous popular person) and Bobby look alike, they both don’t have a lot of hair. I wish I looked like Bobby. Hey Bobby, come with me.” (walk off confidently with Bobby)

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Seven Things Kids Need to Know about Bullying

1. Bullying is disobeying the Golden Rule - treat others the way you want to be treated. The Golden Rule is the answer to all relationship problems. Don’t let others convince you to mistreat someone, to laugh when they are mistreated and don’t ignore it.
2. Remember, no one deserves to be bullied. Don’t let others convince you that you are defective or that you aren’t what you should be. It is never okay to bully someone. If you are doing something that doesn’t help you make and keep friends, try to stop it. But they never have the right to bully you.
3. Always tell a trusted adult and have hope. We know how to prevent and stop bullying. This is not a problem you should try to solve on your own. If the adult doesn’t help you, then tell another adult. One way to stand up for yourself is to ask an adult to help you. You are not tattling, you are reporting. When you tattle, you are trying to get someone into trouble. When you report, you are trying to help someone who is in trouble. Ask an adult to help you develop a safety plan – a way to immediately stay safe. For awhile, report once or twice a day to a trusted adult to let them know how your day went. Ask your parents to keep a log of your mistreatment and to take pictures of injuries. Ask your parents to talk to the school – it may be best that they not be seen there by students who bully you. When adults get involved, bullying can be prevented and stopped. You need their help and those who mistreat others need their help to change. You parents need to know the do’s and don’ts in dealing with bullying. Tell your parents to visit www.bullyfree.com for tips. We now know how adults can help children. Maybe your parents can get an anti-bullying program started in your school. There should be a school-wide program.
4. Bullies want to hurt you, so don’t let them know they have hurt you. If they hurt your feelings, tell an adult about it and write about them in a journal/diary. Don’t hide your feelings and thoughts. There is no reason you should be ashamed. The hurt caused by bullying is stressful, so take care of yourself by eating right and exercising.
5. Students who don’t want to mistreat others out number those who do. You have a lot of power. You don’t have to ignore bullying. You don’t have to laugh. You don’t have to do what the bully says. Take a stand against bullying and help each other to have the courage to make your school Bully Free^®.
6. Bullies want to have power and control over you. So don’t look like an easy target. Stand straight and tall, with your shoulders back and head up, walk in a relaxed and energetic way. Don’t let the bully see you sad and cry. Learn assertiveness skills. Your words have power. Visit www.bullyfree.com to see examples of assertiveness skills.
7. Never walk alone and try to avoid the bully as much as possible. If you see the bully coming, walk in a different direction, but don’t act scared. Join others nearby. Keep the bully guessing where you are.

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Jersey Shore Star Vinny Guadagnino Talks About Anti-Bullying, Cyberbullying

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Taylor Swift Talks About Bullying And Loneliness

Music News

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ABC Family- Cyberbullying (Full Movie)

Cyberbully follows Taylor Hillridge (Emily Osment), a teenage girl who falls victim to online bullying, and the cost it takes on her as well as her friends and family. Taylor is a pretty seventeen-year-old student dealing with her parents' recent divorce and painfully aware of her lower social status in high school. When her mom gives her a computer for her birthday, Taylor is excited by the prospect of going online to meet new friends without her mother always looking over her shoulder. However, Taylor soon finds herself the victim of betrayal and bullying while visiting a popular social website. Obsessed with the damaging posts, she begins to withdraw from her family and friends, including her life-long best friend, Samantha Caldone (Kay Panabaker). Tormented and afraid to face her peers at school, Taylor is pushed to an extreme breaking point. It is only after this life-changing event that Taylor learns that she is not alone – meeting other teens, including a classmate, who have had similar experiences. Taylor's mom, Kris (Kelly Rowan), reels from the incident and takes on the school system and state legislation to help prevent others from going through the same harrowing ordeal as her daughter.

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Don't Bully Me - PSA Music Video

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Celebrities who were bullied as kids

Bully-phobia: a deep-rooted fear of returning to school after summer break, due to potential hecklers and unprecedented taunts. Yeah, we've been there. So have some of the most successful humans on the planet. If you're wondering how you're going to survive another year of trash-talkers, look to the stars. They fared pretty well, despite the endless cruelty of their classmates. It seems to be a running theme: get bullied in high school for being different, become a huge success as an adult.

Exhibit A: Robert Pattinson, better known now as R-Patz. Before he was double-fisting MTV movie awards, he was getting slammed against lockers. As a kid he had bigger problems than fending off vampire impulses.

“I got beaten up by a lot of people when I was younger,” Pattinson, said in an interview with Parade. What made him a target, of course, was the same thing that made him a famous: acting. “I liked to behave like an actor, or how I thought an actor was supposed to be, and that apparently provoked a lot of people into hitting me.” Nowadays, it just provokes throngs of women to mob him.

Taylor Lautner

"I was never extremely confident," Lautner said in an interview with Rolling Stone. "Because I was an actor, when I was in school there was a little bullying going on. Not physical bullying but people making fun of what I do ... I just had to tell myself I can't let this get to me. This is what love to do. And I'm going to continue to do it." Good choice.

Christian Bale

Here's how Bale remembers his childhood: "It was not a great time. I was a victim of bullying and had other kids kicking and punching me every day." You'd think a child star, who shot to fame in Steven Spielberg's "Empire of the Sun", would be an instant locker room celebrity. But in Bale's school, it put a bully bullseye on his back. "He had a tough time at school," Bale's mom Jenny has said. "The bullying was quite bad and made him very sad. It really put him off the film and stardom thing." Spoiler alert: it didn't put him off of it for very long.

President Obama

"I have to say that with big ears and the name that I have, I was not immune. I did not emerge unscathed," Obama said at a press conference addressing the problem of school bullying. Now that he's grown up, landed on the cover of GQ, started a family with as fashion icon, and got a really, really, really good job, those bullies probably wish they were a little nicer to him.

Winona Ryder

But as a kid, her unique style made her a social outcast. "I was wearing an old Salvation Army shop boy's suit," she said in an interview. "I heard people saying, 'Hey, f----t.' They slammed my head into a locker. I fell to the ground..."

But like they say, it gets better. "Years later, I went to a coffee shop and I ran into one of the girls who'd kicked me, and she said, 'Winona, Winona, can I have your autograph?' And I said, 'Do you remember me? Remember in seventh grade you beat up that kid?' And she said, 'Kind of'. And I said, 'That was me. Go f*** yourself.'" Slow clap followed by uproarious applause, please.

Eminem

As a scrawny 9-year-old, Marshall Mathers was so viciously bullied, his mom sued the Detroit school system. One particular Elementary School rival split his lip and knocked him out, according to the Smoking Gun. In another instance he came home beaten and bruised, after an encounter with his bully in a bathroom. One time he was hit with a snowball, believed to be packed with a hard enough substance to give him a concussion. It got so bad, his mom testified in court that the trauma caused him "nightmares and anti-social behavior." This was long before bullying became a national issue, worthy of serious intervention. So Mathers had to wait it out, and vent on paper. The result was the song "Brain Damage" on his chart-topping album, which publicly called out his childhood nemesis. Moral: Don't mess with a scrawny kid, or he'll have to call in the music industry for backup.

Christina Aguilera

As an aspiring teen pop star, she was the object of ridicule among her Staten Island classmates. A few tormenters would slash her tires to prevent her from getting to gigs on time and mess with her microphone to embarrass her on the stage. "There was a lot of resentment and I think there was a bit of jealousy involved," Aguilera revealed during her 'Behind the Music'. "There were threats that were made on me and my mom. They would thrash my tires if I would win a certain competition... I just remember (thinking), 'I gotta get out of here, I gotta go make my dream out there."

Mila Kunis

"I was always the smallest in my class," Kunis said in an interview with OK Magazine. "I grew into my face. I had a very funny looking face when I was little. I had like big eyes, big lips, big ears. But when I was little I was constantly being made fun of for having big eyes and that was awful. I used to come home crying: 'Why do I have big eyes?'" Turns out they come in handy on screen when you need to draw attention away from Justin Timberlake.

Lady Gaga

Gaga remembers that time not-so-fondly, as the era she was "teased for being ugly, having a big nose, being annoying." Her classmates also made fun of the way she dressed and wore makeup, because they totally knew better when it came to fashion. Yeah, right.

Madonna

"In high school I wasn't a hippie or a stoner, so I ended up being the weirdo. I was interested in classical ballet and music, so the kids were quite mean if you were different," the First Lady of Pop told Vanity Fair. "I was one of those people that people were mean to."

So, as they say in the entertainment industry, she 'used it'. "I decided to emphasize my differences...If your joy is derived from what society thinks of you, you're always going to be disappointed." These days, she's rarely disappointed—not because she doesn't care what society thinks of her, but because she's freaking Madonna.

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Bullying Prevention Tips

Bullies: Are you a Bully? Are you a bully and don't know it? Maybe you know you're a bully, but don't know how to change your ways ? Never fear help is here. How do you know if you are or have ever been a bully?  Ask yourself these questions. 1.     Does it make you feel better to hurt other people or take things? 2.     Are you bigger and stronger than other people your age? Do you sometimes use your size and strength to get your way? 3.     Have you been bulllied by someone in the past and feel like you have to make up for it by doing the same thing to others? 4.     Do you avoid thinking about how other people might feel if you say or do hurtful things to them? If you have bullied other people, think about why. Think about how or what you were feeling at the time. Think about how you felt afterwards. How can you stop being a bully? 1.     Apologize to people you've bullied, and follow it up by being friendly to them.They may not trust you right away, but eventually they'll see that you're for real. 2.     If you're having a hard time feeling good  about yourself , explore ways to boost your self-esteem. Pick up a new hobby , do volunteer work,or get involved with a sport. 3.     If you feel like you're having trouble controlling your feelings, especially anger, talk to school counselor about it.

There are many reasons to kick the bully habit. Many bullies grow up into adults who bully thier families, friends, and co-workers, causing all sorts of problems with relationships and careers. It's hard to think about the future when you're feeling something here and now, but take a moment to see how your behavior may be laying down some pretty negative groundwork.

Copyright:2004 Castleworks,Inc. All rights reserved. from http://pbskids.org/itsmyife

What is Bullying?

Bully. What does the word make you think of? For some people, it's that girl at school who always makes fun of them. For others, it's the biggest guy in the neighborhood who's always trying to beat up or take their things. Sometimes "bully" means a whole group of kids, ganging up on someone else. No matter what situation or form it comes in, bullying can make you feel depressed, hurt, and alone. It can keep you from enjoying the activities and places that are part of your life.

Bullying happens everywhere, whether it's your town or Paris, France. It happens all the time, and it's happened since forever. Because it's so common , many adults think bullying is just normal part of growing up. You've probably heard parents or teachers say things like: "Don't let it get to you" or "You just  have to be tougher"

But why should something that can make a person sommiserable have to be part of growing up? The answer is, it does'nt! Each and every one of us has the right to feel safe in our lives and good about ourselves. So we put together this guide to give you all the basics of dealing with bullies. Let's start by looking at the different kinds of bullying.

Physcial bullying means:

• Hitting,kicking, or pushing somone..or even just threatening to do it.
• Stealing, hiding or ruining somone's things.
• Making somone do things that he or she don't want to do.

Verbal Bullying means:

• Name-calling
• Teasing
• Insulting

Relationship Bullying means:

• Refusing to talk to someone.
• Spreading lies or rumors about someone.
• Making someone feel left out or rejected.

What do all these things have in common? They're examples of ways one person can make another person feel hurt, afraid, or uncomfortable. When thee are sone to someone more than once, and usually over and over again for a long period of time, that is bullying.

The reason why one kid would want o bully another kid is this: when you make someone feel bad, you gain power over him or her. Power makes people feel like they are better than another person, and then that makes them feel really good about themselves. Power also makes you stand out from the crowd. It's a way to get attention from other kids, and even from adults.

Did you Know.. The word "bully" used to mean the total opposite of what it means now? Five-hundred years ago, it meant friend, family member, or sweetheart. The root of the word comes from the Dutch Boel, meaning lover or brother. Big change.

htttp://pbskids.org/itsmylife Copyright 2004 Caslteworks, Inc.

Bullies: Innocent Bystanders

In a bullying situation , there are usually bystanders, but they are not exactly "innocent".

Bullying usually happens with other kids around, right? Having an "audience" is very important to a bully. She wants people to see what she's doing , and that she has power over the person she's bullying. It's usually because a bully wants a reputation for being tough or strong, or because she thinks it'll make her more popular.

So what about the people watching the bully? Why are they letting it happen? Here are some possible reasons:

• The bully is someone other people look up to and want to hang out with.
• They want to "side" with the bully because to do that makes them feel strong. Siding with the bully's victim, on the other hand would make them feel weak.
• They are entertained by the bullying.
• They don't think speaking up will help.
• They're afraid that if they say something , the bully will hurt them.
• Watching the bullying is a way to bully "vicarously". This means that they feel like they're getting thier frustrations out by hurting someone even though they're not doing the hurting, just watching the hurting.

Did you know that if one person watching a bullying situation says " Stop It" half the time the bullying will stop? This can be hard to do, but it's important to try. When you stand by and do  nothing , that's saying that bullying is okay with you. It makes you no better than the bully himself.

Here are some things you can do if you see someone getting bullied:

• Tell the bully to stop. Examples: "Cut it out" , "That's not funny", "How'd you like if someone did that to you?" Let the bully know that what he or she is doing stupid or mean.
• If you feel like you can't speak up , walk away from the situation and tell the nearest adult. Get them to come help. This is not tattling!

If you see someone being bullied over and over again--whethere that person is a friend , sibling, or classmate - you can make a big difference in helping to stop it.

• If your school has a bullying reporting program, like a hotline or "bully box" use it.
• Make sure the kid who's being bullied tells his parents, or a teacher. Offer to go with him if it will help.
• If she does'nt want to talk to anybody, offer talk to someone on her behalf.
• Involve as many people as possible, including other friends or classmates, parents, teachers, school counselors, and even the principal.

Do NOT use violence against bullies or try to get revenge on your own. It's possible that by speaking up or helping someone , you've made the bully want to come after you. Be prepared for this, and hold your. You already have adult support on your side.

Try to remeber the Golden Rule: Treat others the way you would like to be treated. Stand up for someone when he or she needs  it, and when you need it , someone willstand up for you.

Cyber Bullying

 Cyber Bullying Tips for Parents
Boys are as likely as girls to be targeted for threats or efforts to humiliate them on the internet . Gender does not affect a child's online risk profile . i-Safe America has created this list of internet safety tips to help your family recognize online danger and take the appropriate steps to protect yourselves.

• Don't open/read messsges from cyber bullies: Your child can't be intimidated by messages from cyber bullies they never open. Teach your child to curb his or her curiosity to read and respond to a message if they suspect or know a cyber bully has sent.
• Encourage your child to tell an adult: For some children, their reaction to being bullied is not only fright, but also confusion about how to react appropriately. Coach your child to tell a trusted adult if they are ever being bullied.
• Report cyber bullying: Internet Service Providers can often block a cyber bully, and schools have special procedures and rules to handle bullying. Save the bully's message and screen name, then contact and report it.
• No chatting while you are angry: Sending angry, hostile or taunting messages attracts cyber bullies. Make certain your child is not using e-mail messages or chat rooms to vent their own anger in a way that hurts others.
• If you are threatened with harm, tell the police: Even if you don't know how to identify the individual who has made the threat , law enforcement  often has access to the information and may be able to track down  and arrest them before they do harm.
• Be part of your child's online experience: It can be a fun journey to explore the wonders of the internet as a family. As computer - savy as kids and teens are today , they may even teach you a thing ot two!
• Get involved with i-SAFE AMERICA : These are only some of the measures you can take to ensure your child has a safe and enjoyable intenet experience.

Provided by i-Safe America   www.i-safe.org

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