Anti-Bullying, Bullying Quotes (www.getoutthebox.org)

Here is a selection of bullying and anti-bullying quotes from a few web sites about quotes. Hopefully if you are a victim of bullying these quotes might make you think.



“The bullying stopped when I claimed myself and proved that I wasn’t afraid. A lot of it was when I was hiding when I was younger.” ~ Randy Harrison

“True courage is cool and calm. The bravest of men have the least of a brutal, bullying insolence, and in the very time of danger are found the most serene and free.” ~ Lord Shaftesbury

“The challenge of leadership is to be strong, but not rude; be kind, but not weak; be bold, but not bully; be thoughtful, but not lazy; be humble, but not timid; be proud, but not arrogant; have humor, but without folly.” ~ Jim Rohn

“I do not at all have the mind of a bully… in my mind bullies are intolerant of contrary opinion, domineering and rather cowardly. I would hope that none of those terms could be fairly used in describing me.” ~ Conrad Black

“Never be bullied into silence. Never allow yourself to be made a victim. Accept no one’s definition of your life, but define yourself.” ~ Harvey S. Firestone

“Bullies are always cowards at heart and may be credited with a pretty safe instinct in scenting their prey.” ~ Anna Julia Cooper


“First they ignore you, then they laugh at you, then they fight you, then you win.” ~ Mahatma Gandhi

“All it takes is one good friend and school is a good place to be.” ~ Judy H. Wright

“Who gets harmed by bullying? Bullying behavior harms both the victim and perpetrator. If a child experiences chronic intimidation, he or she may learn to expect this from others. When a child or teen is mean to another it is important to look for patterns and motivations. If he or she is allowed to continue the behavior it becomes habitual. He becomes more likely to surround himself with friends who condone and promote aggressive behavior. He may not develop a mature sense of justice. If he intimidates others to cover up his own insecurities, his own anxiety may increase.” ~ Carol Watkins, M.D.

“If you can’t beat them, arrange to have them beaten.” ~ George Carlin

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How to Stop a Child From Bullying Others

How to Stop a Child From Bullying Others —powered by eHow.com

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How High School Girls Bully

Most studies about bullying focus on boys as aggressors but girls can be bullies too and when girls bully it can be an entirely different beast. When we think of bullying we tend to think of physical violence and outward taunting but when girls bully their tactics are often quiet and covert.

Girls Who Bully Can Be Hard to Recognize

From the outside looking in it can be hard to tell a group of girls who are bullying apart from a group of girls who are innocently standing around. Girls socialize differently than boys. As girls get older their peer interactions become less physical and more cerebral. Girls engage in verbal bonding by sharing stories, hopes, and dreams. Since girls bond differently than boys it makes sense that when they bully it would be different too.

Teachers and parents tend to talk about the obvious when they talk about bullying. Playground scuffles, name calling, stealing personal items and damaging property are commonly cited examples of bullying behavior. But when girls bully they aren’t so obvious. Girls can be quietly vicious with their victims and adults often fail to treat their behavior as bullying.

Girls and Boys Do Not Bully the Same Ways

The tactics used by girls who bully are distorted versions of some normal mechanisms of social development. According to research done by Lagerspetz, Bjorqvist and Peltonen at the University of Miami, when girls bully they use things like alienation, ostracism, deliberate and calculated random exclusions, and spreading of rumors to harass their peers.

Girls get other kids to gang up on one or more peers as a way of exerting control. Sometimes they incite other children to act out aggressively and sit back to watch the show. They form groups that pick and choose members at random and exclude others without real reason. They form alliances with other social groups in an effort to jockey for popularity and positions of power among peers. All too often the bullying tactics used by girls are brushed off as cruel but normal social interactions.

In Girls, Bullying Behaviors and Peer Relationships: The Double Edged Sword of Exclusion and Rejection, Barbara Leckie explains how bullying by girls manifests itself and how it is handled by adults. Leckie went over numerous studies dating back as far as 1980 and identified the many different ways that girls bully. She also found that adults were slower to react to the bullying tactics used by girls.

Adults Can Be Slow to React to Girls Who Bully

If there is violence or physical acting out of any sort adults are quick to intervene and when necessary will punish offenders, but when the bullying takes on a less obvious form even adults don’t seem to know what to do. When girls bully it often goes unaddressed. Since adults don't always label the tactics used by girls as bullying kids who fall victim don’t know where to turn for help.

The mindset still exists that not all kids can be friends and the social structure of the school system encourages the formation of groups and reinforces the idea of social hierarchies. This makes many adults slow to recognize things like exclusion and alienation as something sinister. These behaviors are often dismissed as an unfortunate part of the normal formation of peer groups.

While it is normal for girls and boys to form social groups and close bonds with certain people at the exclusion of others it becomes bullying when those groups make power plays over other groups or individuals. Having friends is one thing; having friends who work to make others feel that they are not good enough to be included is another. Playing the popularity game in a way that causes fear or inadequacy in others is a form of bullying and it is a common tactic used by girls.

Girls Bully in Packs
Sadly, good kids who know better go along with these types of popularity power games for fear of being singled out and cast out of the group. Since adults often treat this exclusionary behavior as mere social clashing kids who are caught in the middle are afraid to stand up to the bully. It seems easier to do nothing than it does to do the right thing.

Kids who quietly go along with a bully add to the bully's power by giving victims the illusion that the bully has peer support. The victim feels like everybody is against them, not just the bully. When adults do not address exclusionary behavior the same way they would address more traditionally forms of bullying it worsens the problem. Kids who know better feel powerless to do the right thing when adults don’t react.

Girls who bully will pick on boys as well as other girls. They act out as consistently as boys who bully and pick their targets in much the same way. While girls have been known to get violent when they bully it is much more common for them to use emotional tactics.

How Girls Bully
Girls bully by using emotional violence. They do things that make others feel alienated and alone. Some of the tactics used by girls who bully include:

* anonymous prank phone calls or harassing emails from dummy accounts
* playing jokes or tricks designed to embarrass and humiliate
* deliberate exclusion of other kids for no real reason
* whispering in front of other kids with the intent to make them feel left out
* name calling, rumor spreading and other malicious verbal interactions
* being friends one week and then turning against a peer the next week with no incident or reason for the alienation
* encouraging other kids to ignore or pick on a specific child
* inciting others to act out violently or aggressively

Boys are not the only bullies, girls bully too. Being singled out, ridiculed, excluded, or alienated is a form of bullying. Being beaten up emotionally on a daily basis does damage to the victims. It is time that the problem was addressed for what it is, a gender difference in bullying but bullying none-the-less.

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Parent's Guide to Bullying

Almost 10% of school age children are the victims of a bully. Bullying is most common by the second grade and then supposedly declines by the high school years. Bullying can be either physical or verbal, and can range from mild teasing to pushing and hitting.

Victims of bullies are usually stereotyped as being loners, passive, quiet, sensitive, anxious, with low self esteem and they are often smaller and/or weaker than other children of the same age and may come from an overprotective home. More importantly, they usually react to bullying by crying, acting out or withdrawing.

Some victims may actually bring on the bullying attack by teasing or provoking a bully. Being the victim of a bully can lead to your child avoiding school, and developing fear and anxiety about going to school. It can also cause your child to feel insecure and have feelings of low self worth and poor self-esteem and can ultimately lead to depression and/or violence, either against himself or against the bully.

Because victims of bullies often do not seek help or confide in anyone about the bullying, either because of shame or embarrassment or fear that it will be worse if the bully finds out, it is important to look for signs in your children. School avoidance behaviors, especially chronic nonspecific complaints, such as headaches or stomachaches, or they may have trouble sleeping. Also, if your child seems afraid or anxious about going to school, has a change in his personality or his behavior, or a change in his grades, you should consider that he may be a victim of a bully at school, especially if he fits the stereotypes described above.

If you suspect that your child may be a victim of a bully, you can ask him if he is being teased at school, or ask more open-ended questions, such as 'What do you like to do at recess?' or 'at lunchtime?'

Children are most often bullied at school, usually on the playground or at lunchtime when children are more likely to have minimal supervision, or it may occur in the hallways between classes or on the school bus. In any situation, the better supervised children are, the less likely that bullying will occur.

Children who are bullies may have problems with low self-esteem, but newer theories argue that bullies are driven more by a desire to have power over others and to be 'in control' than because they have poor self-esteem and that they have little empathy for their victims. They may also be aggressive, bossy, controlling, have a low level of self control, and have difficulty making friends. Bullies are also more likely to develop criminal behaviors as adults.

While this may help you understand why a bully acts the way he does, this doesn't necessarily help your child deal with the problem. Things that you should avoid include teaching your child to fight back, since he may get hurt and it may also get him in trouble at school, but that doesn't mean that you can't teach your child to be assertive and to show self-confidence.

Parents often turn to enrolling their children in a martial arts class, and while this can be helpful to build his self-esteem and help him be more assertive, the aim of the classes should not be so that he can fight back.
It may also help to talk with school officials about the problem (so that they can better supervise your child, observe the bully and intervene when necessary) and teach your child to not respond too strongly to the bully (either by crying or giving in to demands), because the bully is more likely to continue bullying your child if he knows that he will get a response.

It may also help to schedule a meeting between the parents of the children involved and school officials.
You can teach your child to walk away (but while staying calm and not running), tell the bully to stop and leave him alone, or to use humor and come up with a good comeback when a bully teases him. It can also help if your child has high self-esteem and if he has some strong friendships, so that he is less of a target. Teaching your child to make eye contact with others (especially the bully) and to talk with a strong voice may also help. Role playing situations where he is bullied may be helpful in teaching how to respond.
It is also important for the bully to understand that bullying is not acceptable and will not be tolerated. If the bullying behavior or other aggressive behaviors persist, then he may need to see a child psychologist for further help.

Also keep in mind that while bullying most often involves boys (both as the bully and victim), girls can also be the victim of bullying and they may bully other children (usually with gossip or isolating someone socially, instead of physical bullying).

It may also help to educate all children about bullying and its consequences. Even if your child is not a victim of a bully, you can teach him to inform an adult if he sees a child being bullied.

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