STOP BULLYING!!!

By The Bully Blog with 1 comment

GOOD IDEAS SOME SCHOOLS HAVE STARTED TO STOP BULLYING

1. BULLY BOXES...
Kids can put notes in the box if they are too worried to tell someone. If your school has boxes like these use them wisely. Advise the kids to always make sure that anything they write about is the truth.

2. SET UP A BUDDY-SYSTEM...
Older students can sometimes volunteer to help new or younger students coming into the school or your program by getting to know them.

3. SPECIALS CAMPAIGNS
such as a "no-bullying day" can be a big help.

4. COUNSELING
is a good way of talking to someone.
Can you have someone come in and talk about Kids who are being bullied, or who are bullying others? Some schools have set up PEER COUNSELING where kids volunteer to learn how to help other kids.


5. MEDIATION
Some schools and programs have introduced mediation where two people who disagree about something agree that a third person, either an adult of another student, HELPS to find a solution to a problem. This can be helpful in many situations, but not in all cases of bullying...
A bully may refuse to take part because they have no interest in ending the bullying. A victim may feel that a negotiated solution is not fair when it is the other person who is completely in the wrong.

6. Taking part in PLAYS AND OTHER DRAMA ACTIVITES
can help people to understand what it feels like to be bullied and to think about what they can do to stop it. This is something that SAC programs can facilitate.

7. PEER SUPPORT
where older students volunteer to discuss things such as bullying, friendship, or drugs with groups of younger students.

POSSIBLE CONSEQUENCES FOR BULLIES...
  • Counseling.
  • Confronting the Bully with the victim.
  • Have the bully listen to the victim's hurt.
  • Initiate peer mediation with the victim .
  • Contact parents/guardians.
  • Insist on and monitor a behavior contract.
  • Take away privileges.
  • Suspend Bully from school.
  • Ask Bully to leave the school.
  • Take legal action. If you are bullied or harassed you CAN do something about it!


8. PRACTICE... Tip From Barb Shelby There are several good ideas in this category; many of them will give you information and activities to help derail Bullying. When you come right down to it (After you read and get ideas for what to do) rather than spending a lot of time discussing problems, have children actually PRACTICE WHAT TO DO to prevent or stop those problems.

• THIS MEANS...teach children skills and give them the words and tools to handle conflicts, bullying and challenges. Have children practice. Practice with their voices and with their bodies and non-verbal communication. Coach them to experience success.

• As far as challenges in your program? Don't allow it. Build a strong "Program Community" where the kids connect and feel good about themselves and their group. Some of the posts in the "Connecting & Feeling Good Category" may help with this.

9.  To initiate a discussion with chidren, USE MESSAGE BOOKS as learning tools! Stories are a great way for children to learn what other children are doing in similar situations.

There are "Bully Theme and  Message Book suggestions" for children  posted on this site. There is also a list for adults with Anti-Bully and Conflict Resolution Themes.

10. In sharing  bullying prevention strategies in School Age Notes, Nancy Mullin proposed providing activities that promote self-confidence, build self-control and resilience, and foster community connections among children...

• Bullied children benefit from participating in a wide range of activities that help them develop common interests with peers, hone friendship-making skills, and build relationships.


• Children who tend to be easily left out because they lack social graces or have difficulty reading social signals need guidance to practice pleasant ways of entering play, making conversation, and "understanding" the nuances of give-and-take relationships.

• Form friendship circles to provide isolated youth with social supports. Children who tend to bully others benefit from opportunities to practice self-control, perspective taking, prosocial behavior, and positive ways to engage their peers. Offering cooperative alternatives to competitive games can also help reduce aggression."

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Dealing With Bullies

Bullying is a big problem. It can make kids feel hurt, scared, sick, lonely, embarrassed and sad. Bullies might hit, kick, or push to hurt people, or use words to call names, threaten, tease, or scare them.

A bully might say mean things about someone, grab a kid's stuff, make fun of someone, or leave a kid out of the group on purpose.

Some bullies threaten people or try to make them do things they don't want to do.

Bullying Is a Big Deal

Bullying is a big problem that affects lots of kids. Three-quarters of all kids say they have been bullied or teased. Being bullied can make kids feel really bad. The stress of dealing with bullies can make kids feel sick.
Bullying can make kids not want to play outside or go to school. It's hard to keep your mind on schoolwork when you're worried about how you're going to deal with the bully near your locker.
Bullying bothers everyone — and not just the kids who are getting picked on. Bullying can make school a place of fear and can lead to more violence and more stress for everyone.

Why Do Bullies Act That Way?

Some bullies are looking for attention. They might think bullying is a way to be popular or to get what they want. Most bullies are trying to make themselves feel more important. When they pick on someone else, it can make them feel big and powerful.

Some bullies come from families where everyone is angry and shouting all the time. They may think that being angry, calling names, and pushing people around is a normal way to act. Some bullies are copying what they've seen someone else do. Some have been bullied themselves.

Sometimes bullies know that what they are doing or saying hurts other people. But other bullies may not really know how hurtful their actions can be. Most bullies don't understand or care about the feelings of others.
Bullies often pick on someone they think they can have power over. They might pick on kids who get upset easily or who have trouble sticking up for themselves. Getting a big reaction out of someone can make bullies feel like they have the power they want. Sometimes bullies pick on someone who is smarter than they are or different from them in some way. Sometimes bullies just pick on a kid for no reason at all.

Bullying: How to Handle It

So now you know that bullying is a big problem that affects a lot of kids, but what do you do if someone is bullying you? Our advice falls into two categories: preventing a run-in with the bully, and what to do if you end up face-to-face with the bully.

Preventing a Run-In With a Bully

Don't give the bully a chance. As much as you can, avoid the bully. You can't go into hiding or skip class, of course. But if you can take a different route and avoid him or her, do so.

Stand tall and be brave. When you're scared of another person, you're probably not feeling your bravest. But sometimes just acting brave is enough to stop a bully. How does a brave person look and act? Stand tall and you'll send the message: "Don't mess with me." It's easier to feel brave when you feel good about yourself. See the next tip!

Feel good about you. Nobody's perfect, but what can you do to look and feel your best? Maybe you'd like to be more fit. If so, maybe you'll decide to get more exercise, watch less TV, and eat healthier snacks. Or maybe you feel you look best when you shower in the morning before school. If so, you could decide to get up a little earlier so you can be clean and refreshed for the school day.

Get a buddy (and be a buddy). Two is better than one if you're trying to avoid being bullied. Make a plan to walk with a friend or two on the way to school or recess or lunch or wherever you think you might meet the bully. Offer to do the same if a friend is having bully trouble. Get involved if you see bullying going on in your school — tell an adult, stick up for the kid being bullied, and tell the bully to stop.

If The Bully Says or Does Something to You

Ignore the bully. If you can, try your best to ignore the bully's threats. Pretend you don't hear them and walk away quickly to a place of safety. Bullies want a big reaction to their teasing and meanness. Acting as if you don't notice and don't care is like giving no reaction at all, and this just might stop a bully's behavior.

Stand up for yourself. Pretend to feel really brave and confident. Tell the bully "No! Stop it!" in a loud voice. Then walk away, or run if you have to. Kids also can stand up for each other by telling a bully to stop teasing or scaring someone else, and then walk away together. If a bully wants you to do something that you don't want to do — say "no!" and walk away. If you do what a bully says to do, they will likely keep bullying you. Bullies tend to bully kids who don't stick up for themselves.

Don't bully back. Don't hit, kick, or push back to deal with someone bullying you or your friends. Fighting back just satisfies a bully and it's dangerous, too, because someone could get hurt. You're also likely to get in trouble. It's best to stay with others, stay safe, and get help from an adult.

Don't show your feelings. Plan ahead. How can you stop yourself from getting angry or showing you're upset? Try distracting yourself (counting backwards from 100, spelling the word 'turtle' backwards, etc.) to keep your mind occupied until you are out of the situation and somewhere safe where you can show your feelings.

Tell an adult. If you are being bullied, it's very important to tell an adult. Find someone you trust and go and tell them what is happening to you. Teachers, principals, parents, and lunchroom helpers at school can all help to stop bullying. Sometimes bullies stop as soon as a teacher finds out because they're afraid that they will be punished by parents. This is not tattling on someone who has done something small — bullying is wrong and it helps if everyone who gets bullied or sees someone being bullied speaks up.

What Happens to Bullies?

In the end, most bullies wind up in trouble. If they keep acting mean and hurtful, sooner or later they may have only a few friends left — usually other kids who are just like them. The power they wanted slips away fast. Other kids move on and leave bullies behind.

Some kids who bully blame others. But every kid has a choice about how to act. Some kids who bully realize that they don't get the respect they want by threatening others. They may have thought that bullying would make them popular, but they soon find out that other kids just think of them as trouble-making losers.

The good news is that kids who are bullies can learn to change their behavior. Teachers, counselors, and parents can help. So can watching kids who treat others fairly and with respect. Bullies can change if they learn to use their power in positive ways. In the end, whether bullies decide to change their ways is up to them. Some bullies turn into great kids. Some bullies never learn.

But no one needs to put up with a bully's behavior. If you or someone you know is bothered by a bully, talk to someone you trust. Everyone has the right to feel safe, and being bullied makes people feel unsafe. Tell someone about it and keep telling until something is done.

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By The Bully Blog with No comments